Remember that shelf thing I mentioned earlier today?
That crazy hair-brained idea that people put other people on shelves according to how they “value” them? Another word you could probably call that is favoritism…
Just a side note: It’s evident in the Bible even…look at Jacob and Esau or Leah and Rachel…There are just some people that others are drawn too more than others…I guess it’s just a human fact…
I think that whole concept hurts me the worst is when I perceive it people that I esteem or respect or “want to be liked by”…When I’ve spent countless hours and years trying to “win their love” or as my husband will term it from time to time…”brown-nosing” people…and let me tell you…(the origin of THAT description is just plain disgusting…)
Which really describes my trying to win approval of people to a T…it’s futile, it makes me feel yucky and almost never works …I say almost, because there are times that I make people want to “invite me along” on account of something that I did…but it’s not because of “who I am”…
Which brings me to the other point…when I realize that “who I am” is “not enough” for them…it hurts me. Does anyone else feel that sometimes? I KNOW it shouldn't matter…it shouldn’t matter if I’m over looked for the basketball team…it shouldn’t matter that they don’t want me helping in the kitchen…it shouldn’t matter that they’d rather spend an hour on the phone with someone else than 5 minutes with me….it shouldn't matter if my kids are overlooked and others are esteemed...
Then why does it still hurt sometimes? Is it my selfishness? Is it my pride? It’s probably both…I’m working so hard on taking those thoughts and hurts and giving them over because, to be honest, they are just too heavy for me to carry (especially with the brand new air cast I’m sporting on my left leg…can you say sexy???)
Anyhoo…why am I adding onto an already honkin’ long post? Because I really want to be done with it and not harp on it all week long and because I was faced with something and I found myself spiraling out of control and wanted to reel it back in…
I’m working on trying to instill the security found in God into my girls, so that when they are faced with friends and even family and loved ones that, in their perception, may not “value” them as much…I don’t want them to sulk in it like I often do…I don’t want it to spur them to bitterness or worse yet, “trying even harder”…I want them to be able to just accept those people with their imperfections, whether those people actually realize their favoritism or not and THEN…to realize that they are God’s dwelling place…and no matter what anyone else says or does or doesn’t do…it just doesn’t have an affect on who they are and who they will become…
I want to close this subject with a brief quote and assurances by Beth Moore:
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” (this one’s actually from the Bible first)
The Maker of Heaven and earth, will: (all quotes from the Bible)
Perfect everything that concerns you
Work all things together for your good
Contend with those who contend with you
Fight this battle for you
Equip you with divine power
Delight to show you mercy
Meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus
Give you grace that is perfectly sufficient
Be your power in weakness
Do immeasurably more than all you could ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within you.
This is my favorite: If you will place your trust in Him, He will always-I said always- make sure that in the end you will look upon your foes in triumph. May your unseen enemy regret the day he set the crosshairs of his weapon upon your forehead!
