_______________.
I can't tell you how many different ways I can fill in that blank. For example...
"You know it's bad when...
***Little munchkin doesn't wake up from her nap until 6pm and here we are at 11pm still waiting for her to stop singing!
***I can't fathom drinking another frappaccino in the next couple days b/c my body has a caffeine overload.
***my clinical strength antiperspirant can't deal with the heat index and you can wring out my tee shirts.
My biggest one now, however, is...
You know it's bad when you are continually having conversations with yourself...in your head...in front of the mirror...driving in the car...to the point where your children ask, "mommy are you talking to yourself again?"
My situation is that I need a replacement.
A Thought Replacement...
I've slowly been coming to a realization concerning certain things in my life...being that I'm a "fair minded" person...meaning, I like things FAIR...being that I'm a right or wrong person and if I'm right, I want the world to know it and agree with me sort of person...well, when reality sinks in and it is evident that that is NOT how life works, it can be rather a downer for me.
I have a couple of choices when circumstances arise that irritate me...when relationships are so annoying that all I want to do is scream from the mountain tops how wrong they are...when I'm doing everything right it appears and STILL I can't get ahead...
I can replace my hurt and my anger with truth and try to continue along in my journey called life OR I can wallow in my sorrow and "fairness" until the cows come home...being that we don't own any cows...they never come home...and so I end up wallowing for a longggggggg time...
I"m in the middle of the longggggg time right now...and I haven't had the tools...let me rephrase that...I haven't made TIME to UTILIZE the tools that I HAVE BEEN GIVEN to replace my wallowing thoughts with thoughts of truth...I've long been believing the lies and relishing in them...I've had many a conversation with my mirror aka "the pretend person(s) that I'd love to set straight"...
And, I've got to admit to you...I'm exhausted...as I said before...I'm coming to some realizations here of late...one of those is that sometimes, circumstances just don't change...and sometimes, PEOPLE just don't change and they will continue their way of thinking regardless of how wrong they may or may not be...
So, where does that leave me...
well...to put it bluntly...the mirror ain't talkin' back and I'm just not getting anywhere...and so I've come to the conclusion that it's ME that has to change if I'm going to make any headway...
does it mean that I give up and surrender...they win...I lose? NO WAY!
It just means that I'm not to going to give away my precious time to think of countless ways that I could MAKE THEM LEARN and set them straight! In the words of my husband..."let it go"
I don't "let go" very well (remember the discussion about my basement?)...so in order to move forward, I have to replace certain thinking patterns with other patterns of thinking, or attitudes...
I'm currently beginning 2 different studies...one is on attitude (glory be) and the other has to do with Moving Up (cue the Jefferson's theme song) I'm sure that I will crash and burn a couple times along the way...but, I'm praying and hoping that God will just cue me to hand over, aka let go, of certain things and replace them with the confidence of what HE says is true...and leave the "revenge" and "teaching them a lesson" part to Him.
I'll let you know how it goes...however, if you are my friend in real life and you see me driving along in my super cool mini van...and my mouth is moving and I appear to be having a ranting session with my rear view mirror...please send up a quick prayer for yours truly:)
