Ahhhh Redistricting...

A lot has been going on this fall...You all know that the photography has been a tad hectic, but, that just goes with the territory.  My youngest had her playground accident which caused a bit of havoc in our household for awhile, but we're weathering through it. Redistricting is the other thing that is weighing heavily on our hearts as parents in this community currently.

One thing I've learned is that parents will do ANYTHING for their children...they would lay down and die if it came down to it...We love them...and we love them FIERCELY...with a love that is sometimes scary for the power it encompasses.  We want what is best for them and sometimes we believe that what is best for them is what makes them happy, and makes us happy...and sometimes that IS true...and sometimes we are surprised by something completely different.

We had a redistricting meeting on Monday night and I was nervous.  I was nervous because I don't want to be emotional. I could go on and on about the benefits of proximity of a school...but then I could argue the benefits of feeders and keeping kids together...and when those two things collide from opposite ends of the spectrum, you've just got these passionate ideas...all fighting for the same thing: we want what we think is best for our kids.

My husband put things into perspective for me, as he typically does.  He came to the meeting as well, meeting me there.  He sat in his car for 10 minutes prior to the meeting praying, asking for some sort of peace that he could tap into.  And God gave him something...

There is a verse that says that "He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine." That doesn't mean that we get what we want.  That doesn't even mean that life will be easy. But, it does guarantee that He will do more in the lives of my daughters, in my life, in the life of my husband than I could even imagine.  

Right now, none of the options for the redistricting in our community are great.  None of them fix the entire problem and there is a guarantee that parents somewhere will be mad. And not only now, because I know that if we are able to provide the new high school for our students, MY daughters' schooling during their HS years will be interuppted as well...so it's two fold...It's here now and I know it's coming again in the near future.

For us, we care about the kids in our district, if we didn't we wouldn't be willing to encounter some significant tax increases for the foreseeable future.  It has nothing to do with NOT caring about the kids.  We live in one of the best districts in the STATE.  No matter where they go to school, they will thrive. Not just because they'll attend a good school, but because their mom & dad will provide a safe haven home for them...one where we teach them how to deal with adversity, serve others, be confident in WHO they are, step out of their comfort zone & trust that they have not just their parents, but Someone who is with them 24/7. 

Right now it's down to the integrity of the administration.  It's down to which option is the most fiscally sound...the one that does not incur MORE costs for our district, but infact, starts to reduce the unnecessary transportation costs (not to mention long bus rides) for the district. We're going to need it for the future...

This area is BOOMING with people. We can't afford, as residents, to wastefully spend money...to unnecessarily throw money in areas in which we have some control.  For a school district, that often means transportation. 

So here's what we know:

*All options, as per the superintendent, follow the guidelines

*NONE of the options are great, nor do they fix the entire problem long term

*According to the principals of the schools, we can't wait any longer, there MUST be relief for the overcrowding

Therefore, the logical "tiebreaker" in all of this...if we take the emotion out of it...if we look long term for the kids that aren't even in school yet...for their futures...it comes down to which option is the most fiscally responsible?

If you are in our district, you'll have access to the survey and to the presentation of the options.  If you look at Option D, (it's the last option, on the last page of the presentation of options) If you go alllll the way down to the bottom of the Option D page, at the very bottom box...you'll see that the actual committee members, or more specifically DeJong-Richter, wrote these words, "...result in the largest reduction in transportation costs and times compared to the other scenarios"

Right there in black and white they conclude that THIS OPTION D is the option that is the most fiscally responsible...there isn't a perfect answer, or fix...noone will be 100% happy...but at least, at the end of the day, we can say that all the plans follow guidelines, give our kids a great education...but this is the ONLY one, as per the committee that actually REDUCES the costs to our resident tax-payers!!! 

There are spaces in the survey to express what we like or dislike about the options.  I hope our community will communicate to our leadership that we value our students so much that we want to prepare for their future with costs that we can control.  It's incredibly difficult because we have not been presented with a 100% fix. Therefore, at this point, I believe our best course of action is to make the most fiscally sound choices.

I'm "okay" with moving my kids...don't get me wrong, I don't like it, but, IF I know that come March, my moneys are being spent wisely, preparing for a future for the students of this district...then I can get on board with the new levy and I can put my hope in the guarantee that God has something prepared that I can't even imagine yet. 

things to never do #85746

It's been a long week.

It's not been all that emotionally taxing or anything...believe me, I know how to keep "most" things in perspective.

Okay, well maybe not really, but as my husband always tells me, "you bring the fun, honey...you just bring the fun!"

He's the one that keeps things running like a well-oiled machine whereas I like to mix things up a bit...and sometimes "bringing the fun" involves being overly dramatic about things like not having the proper foot attire for the ever changing Ohio weather OR throwing forty-teen baskets of laundry all over the bedroom floor and shoving the dog in there for good measure just so that the main part of your house has the "appearance" of being clean...

You better believe I "bring the fun"!!!

My eldest was in her 2nd play this week...and being the leveled headed, organized person that I am, I decided to schedule eye doctor appointments, 2 mentoring sessions and volunteering at both the elementary and middle schools, in the midst of preparing the house for my parents, sister & nephew for the weekend...See, I knew it would be a lot of "fun" to not only accomplish all that this week, but also to just skip out on dinner preparations...because what says dinner better than grilled cheese sandwiches and pretzels & nutella because Momma needs to take pictures at dress rehearsal each and every night???

It's all about the photos...all about the photos!

And thus, my house was in such disarray and I really didn't even have much time to mull over it...although I may have said a few choices words when I stepped in the dog food bowl on my way to the bathroom at 2 in the morning after Little Munchkin awoke coughing up her lung and informing me that she wasn't able to go to school in the morning...which would have been Saturday, so that really didn't make sense...so I did what any mother would do who is running on 1.5 hours of sleep...I climbed into her twin bed with her until the sound of her sinus filled snoring woke me from my 10 minute slumber and I stumbled back to my bed to finish off the last 3 hours of nighttime before TODAY began...

For the record,
Soccer games before 10am on a weekend are EVIL...there is no other way to say it...

Sure some love it because they "get it done and over with"...but I say, "let's sleep in and get it done later!"

And so we bundled up to sit and watch a bunch of 6 and 7 year olds cluster run around a soccer ball...while tweenage refs felt it necessary to view themselves as professionals and call everything under the sun...when really all the girls cared about was, "when are the snacks" and "let's see if we can SEE if we put our earmuffs over our eyes"...

We quickly came back home to fuel up on some of that "nutritional food" I had properly stored up in our pantry this week...(which actually meant that Italian Stallion ran to the store for the umpteenth time to pick up all manners of lunch meats and chips)

I, then, had the glorious opportunity to be the "backstage mom" for Sweetpea's play performance.  This meant that I got to sit behind stage and SHUSH all the 6th grade boys into submission.  This is quite the feat when these same boys are all taller than you and have the attention span of a flea.

I was in my element, though...I had a great time and was on my feet most of the hour and half long performance...mouthing words and shushing and shushing some more...

Sweetpea and I  then RACED to the soccer field...Peanut had a game that started right after the play began, so I missed her game completely...which means that she made a goal...because we all know that when Momma isn't there to get a picture, that's when the best things happen!

The school sent out emails that the play was to begin at 2:30pm...however, the program and director said 2pm..therefore, half the cast wasn't there on time and we had to split the difference and begin at 2;15...which really put us in a bind since Sweetpea's game was scheduled to begin at 3:45pm

 I dropped Sweetpea off and she ran for the field...by the time it was all over, Italian Stallion, Peanut, and Sweetpea looked as though they had swam fully clothed in the muddy Mississippi...Did I mention that it was raining?  as in, continuous outpouring from the sky with no end in sight type raining?

My parents & sister felt it a good time to head on their way home at that point, because they had been crammed in the car for more than an hour loyally watching their granddaughters slip and slide on the soccer field...AND, because nothing says "together time" like squashing together in a warm car with wet soccer players and a 9 month old with Christmas music blaring because that's the only thing that keeps him content when he's running on "it's past naptime" and cousin attention overload...

It is at this point (see how I finally got to my #85746 ?) that I did something that perhaps wasn't the wisest thing to do in my attempt to "bring the fun"...

We all packed into the car and headed back to our home where warm showers and electric blankets awaited us...

Thinking brilliantly, I decided that it would be an ideal time to work on my British accent for all to hear...because you never know when you might have a hankerin' for a tea and crumpet...But, since we weren't in the mood for such elegant delicacies, we were going to settle for the good ole stand by of chips and dip...and what kind of dip you might ask...why, the "Helluva Good Dip"...the greatest chip dip of all time...

Except when you don't live in Great Britain and your only claim to knowing about a british accent is through watching Harry Potter movies AND you are so cold and slaphappy from such a long day...your pronunciation of said dip might come out like so,
"Hellooooova Dick"

This will cause your husband to STOP.THE.CAR. due to insurmountable laughter...

It will also cause your eldest daughter to over enunciate the phonetic sound for the letter "P" in your presence for the rest of the evening...

Let us just be thankful that it is now bedtime and as my heroine, Anne (from Green Gables) always said..."tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet" (that is a whole nother story to write about at a later date)  

Limit the Squirrels in 2015

You've heard me say it before ( a longgggg time ago considering it's been ages since I've written on my personal blog) that I tend to be distracted...a lot...

One of my favorite clips that demonstrates this "distracting" behavior is from the movie UP

This happens on a practical level in just everyday life...

I head downstairs to grab a cup of coffee, turn the coffee maker on, but then see the dishes in the sink...

start to load the dishwasher and remember that I forgot to change over the laundry, so I head to the washer & drier...

walking back into the kitchen, I realize the time and run upstairs to wake up the girls...

seeing as I'm upstairs, I grab another load of laundry and head back downstairs...

start to do the laundry, but worry that I won't have time to get their breakfast AND fix their hair, so I start a batch of bran muffins instead...

go over to grab the flour and see my cold cup of coffee, from earlier...when I first started the morning...

and that's typically how it goes...

This also happens on a relational level too...

I find myself talking on the phone with my bff, but distracted by the limited amount of time I actually have to chat and get anything accomplished in a day...

not to mention that I see my Bible laying out or a verse I have printed...it's as if I give Jesus 2 seconds of my day, "hey there, good to see you this morning...I'm in a bit of a hurry...just distracted with all that needs to get done" and then I'm off to the next thing...

I try to make time for exercising...but that hasn't worked since last June
I try to make time for new recipes...but then I get going on pinterest or facebook and forget what I was looking up in the first place.
I try to carve time for reading with my girls...but TV is so much more accessible and I still haven't cleaned up from dinner...

Each year I try to pick a "word" that will help me "become" who I am created to be during that year...I know that I'll never achieve it fully on earth...and that's okay..it's actually freeing to recognize it.

However, to stay stagnant and lukewarm is unacceptable...

the first year I tried it, my word was SEE
the second year the word was CHOOSE

this year, my word is FOCUS

However, I use it in terms that I can understand...being a photographer, FOCUS is of utmost importance...if you don't have that...you don't have an image...plain and simple...you don't get the memory, the moment, the captured time...if you don't get FOCUS, you've missed the mark...

Fortunately, "FOCUS" can be used in a gazillion ways...Focus is mostly set with your use of Aperture (this is the ring inside the lens that determines how much light to let in and in tandem, how much blur will be caused)...There are multple settings for aperture too...with a lower f-stop, you focus in on ONE thing and one thing only...everything else is a blur...with a higher f-stop, everything in your view finder is in perfect sharpness & clarity...

With each image, each circumstance, each moment...I choose my Aperture accordingly...

this year, I want to FOCUS appropriately in real life moments...

There are times, where the "distractions" of life, are just that...LIFE...it's okay to have a million things on my plate to get accomplished...it's called being a wife and mom...my number one jobs & priority...yes, it's tiring, but it's worth it...my aperture is set to a high number and everything is in focus and needs to be attended to...

What I need to remember this year, is when to lower my aperture...when to set the blur to everything else and FOCUS in on what's most important...to go ahead and lose clarity on the unimportant things, so that my eyes stay crisp & clear on what is set before me.

I find it interesting that my past two years worth of words culminate to this one...If I am SEEing as Jesus would have me SEE and then I CHOOSE how to act accordingly...I will then set my FOCUS on what is most important.

I know I will fail at this over and over again this year...I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be...

However, I don't ever want to stop "becoming"...I'm continually offered this grace...an undeserving person receiving unconditional acceptance by a God who is not obligated to do so...but, DOES out of love...THAT is what I want to motivate, to spur me on...

The squirrels will always be there and sometimes, they will get the better of me...but, in 2015, I want to put my FOCUS into what really matters and not so much on all the things that end up draining me and leaving me feeling unimportant and sometimes like a failure.

It's a year to realize that I have the ability to evaluate (see & choose) and discern the moments and circumstances that arise...I can also choose to blur "good things" in order to accept "better things" OR focus in on just a little, but enjoy it to the fullest...

Happy New Year :) I wish you a year in FOCUS :)

Happy Birthday Love

To My Italian Stallion (whom I know just LOVES this little blog name I've created for him)

God must have had me in mind when you were born :)  

Yes, I realize that that sounds extremely self-centered and I think you know me well enough that it takes me a couple of times around the barn to get to my point...and you know that's not what I am aiming at...

You constantly tell me about all my "so-called" wonderful qualities and contributions to our family...you know my love of words and desire to feel safe, cherished & valued...

however, I want to take this day...this anniversary of the day of your birth to focus on all that YOU are and the reason I am even able to be who I was created to be...

You are someone who, from the very beginning, tends to put my needs before your own...it humbles me...the way, that even when we are arguing, you have a calming way to look at the situation from my point of view (even when I don't reciprocate) and yet, you stand firm in the way you lead me and our family...you know how to let me know that we may not be going with MY plan, but that doesn't mean you don't value it...

The way that weekends are fun because you are with our girls...and it's genuine...you are never trying to "get away", but rather creating ways to be together...even in the mundane...

The way you r patient beyond measure...I swear God put a lot of extra ounces of patience into your body the day you were born...I am not fearful that you will run out, because you remind me where your heart lies and on Whom you depend, from Whom you get that strength.

 The way you relax us all and remind us what life is truly all about...so that we don't get so caught up in the drama and self-centered thinking...

You are definitely the introvert to my extrovert...and though you aren't necessarily energized by people, you always make time for them...I admire the way that others listen when you speak, because they know you are a man of integrity and compassion.

I can't imagine life without you...you make me want to strive hard and show love more, to give grace and be generous...because you choose those attitudes and actions.  I know you would downplay all this and I know you aren't perfect :)  It would be way too hard if you were...

I'm just in awe that you chose me...We have now officially gotten to the point where we've known each other longer than we haven't...my life is filled with moments that have you in them :)

Happy Birthday my love, my best friend...I love you :)

Spiritual Ponderings:)

((I found this OLDDDD draft to a "response" I wrote about a sermon I heard at church last year around this time...I guess I never published it...so I'm sticking it on here now so that I know where it is))

John 3:36
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.

This verse was the premise of the message that our pastor brought yesterday at church...He wanted to talk about God's Holiness...and more specifically, the WRATH of God...

It made me chuckle at first because a few things went through my mind...

#1- anytime people talk about God's wrath, I think of the old time preachers with all their hell, fire and brimstone talk.
#2-most people don't want to listen about this subject...especially the media, or "good people"...because, "most" people want to just focus on God's mercy, God's love, God's forgiveness
#3- all those "righteous" people (or those that believe they already have ALL the answers right) are gonna LOVE this talk...I could just see them smilin' in their seats, they were thinking, "stick it to 'em Pastor!"

I think what Pastor Terry did to make this lesson able to fall on teachable hearts, was first, he has spent the past month talking about the, for the lack of a better word, "HAPPY" side of God... His mercy, love, trustworthiness, forgiveness...etc...all the "feel good" things about God...

What I know that I often forget, is that God is JUST and HOLY too...

I often just don't really want to think about that aspect..

I'd rather just think that he just gets "sad" when I sin...that He's just bein' my sweet cheerleader up in heaven, hoping I'll figure it out, say I'm sorry and then give me a big ole hug and say, "atta girl, now, you just keep bein' a fairly "good" girl and we'll have a great mansion for y'all in heaven!...you just keep goin' there kiddo and we'll make something I can be proud of out of the mess you've made...cuz it's all about you bein' happy!!!"

It's either that, or I go to the other extreme, where I think He's up there extremely disappointed and angry and ready to spit fire for all the wrong doing in the world...that He's just waiting for me or others to screw up so He can "stick it to 'em"

And when I think of MY wrath...that's probably where it comes from...I am angry, I do get spitfire mad at the families and children that are ruined because of divorce, at the babies that will never take their first breath because it's an inconvenience for the mom to be pregnant, at the laziness and lack of work ethic in people that already have so much more than what our forefathers came here with, at the foolishness of the way people seem to be able to "justify" every action and get upset when others don't agree and call them intolerant...the list goes on...

Pastor Terry mentioned 2 False Narratives...1) God looks to punish sinners  2) God doesn't care about our sin

Both are wrong perspectives on God.  Because really, when it comes to all this...His ability to forgive is beyond our comprehension...just like His mercy is unfailing...HOWEVER, if there is no judgment in our kingdom then there is no really need for Jesus...

You can't just cover our wrongdoing up with "mercy" and "love" and IGNORE the sin...that's where His Holiness comes in...

I liked Terry's description of God's wrath being like the example in Romans 1...there He just "gives them over" to their own choices...When a person decides in their heart that they would rather have their own "Kindgom" than to serve Someone else's agenda...(because God doesn't demand my love in return), He steps away and honors that choice. 

How many times in a day do I do this?  I choose what makes me happy rather than what is right...it "feels" much better to get frustrated with my spouse when he doesn't do exactly what I want him to do...it makes me feel better to yell at my girls when I've asked them a million times to clean their rooms...I like the attention much better when I "relay" a sad story about someone else (read gossip)...it also makes me feel all important when I start spoutin' off like I have all the answers in my "righteous anger" about the sin of OTHERS...

the list goes on...cuz I'm not perfect over here:) 

The point is...and I'm beginning to realize,  that God LETS me have my way when I choose it...fire bombs from heaven don't come down and stop me...my computer doesn't explode when I write out my bitter thoughts...He doesn't cause a car accident when I blurt out a profanity...however, I can't always attribute an available parking spot or a few pounds gone on the scale as God saying, "well done thou faithful servant, you are blameless and therefore, here is a holy parking space for you!"

He does offer His mercy and grace because of His Son first and foremost...and the ONLY way I can CLAIM His mercy and love FROM the Wrath (or consequences of my choices) is when I TURN FROM IT...I can't just say I'm sorry or say, "I've tried, but, this is just the best I can do...you understand, right God?  It's all good...I don't want to try any longer...so let's just start from this point onward with my "new" decisions and you just make something You can be proud of"...it requires a 180 turn from what I'm doing in order to claim that forgiveness...It's foolish to think that someone really believes you are sorry for smacking them in the face, when you keep smacking them...it's like saying, "I'm truly sorry for stealing your shoes, but I'm going to keep them and you just bless me for that, okay?"

And the fact that we are living in the world He created and are surrounded by others that are a part of God's Kingdom, means that we get to experience those blessings here on earth anyway...He DOES bless us in so many ways..

I really gained a new perspective from his message this weekend...it's a lot to think about...what is my role as it pertains to the world and the sin in it...as it pertains to the choices I make...?? 

at any rate, it was nice to be able to write it all out:)

It's a Book List

Have you all discovered Good Reads yet?

If not, let me help correct this oversight on your part because...hello, constant book recommendations that actually fit your personal likes and dislikes with regards to genre...umm, yes please?

I know...book nerd...

if you love me, you will bear with it...

Anyway, so you remember my dilemma with the whole "math thing" from another post?

Crazy thing, they don't JUST learn math in school...

nope, they get all floozy on you and have to go and teach social studies and science and apparently how to run around a gym and stretch (because we all know that's about the only thing goin' for you when you're approaching 40, have birthed 3 children and are up late at night trying to determine how much material Mrs. Winn will need for m shirts and (m+2) dresses)...

Anyway, alongside all this education...they've got to read...and this my friends, is where I am able to swoop in and save the day...this is my specialty...Far be it from me to be slacking on the job when it comes to reading...oh no...I will sacrifice, I will put down that toilet bowl brush and those laundry baskets of clothing...I will put myself on the line as I kick the vacuum to the curb...all in the name of READING!  I will forfeit my rights as homemaker for the betterment of my children by forcing myself to sit on the couch and read through books, whilst sipping coffee for nourishment as the hours pass by.

I know...it's tough...but, that's my mom job!  I WILL take up that torch!

My children are 6th, 4th and kindergarten grade levels...Some might say that I can be a bit over-protective when it comes to what my kids are exposed to...and though I could get all sarcastic and tell you what I really think about others who think they know better about what is best for my own children, suffice it to say, I just try to be kind and understand that my girls are MY girls and we'll just leave it at that.

My girls tend to be picky when it comes to reading...they are not book mongers like their mother, much to my chagrin, but so be it...they also are a lot more merciful and patient like their father and I wouldn't trade that for the world...so I take them as they are :)

With their "picky" standards, I can often come home from my bi-weekly trips to the library with 20-40 different books from which they choose MAYBE one to read.  This can be exhausting and a tad frustrating because if they knew the amount of energy that went into me perusing the shelves after scouring the reviews and reserving books weeks in advance, they'd perhaps have a different approach to their choice of reading material (or maybe not, because let's face it, they are 12, 9 and 6)

That said, with 3 girls, all at different reading levels and all liking different genres, my goal is to expose them to good literature...I know, I know, it's often said, that as long as they are reading, blah blah...and I get that to a point, but I'm going to tell you that I believe there IS a difference between reading a recipe book or a magazine as opposed to a novel by J.R.R. Tolkien or Jane Austen...I want to expose my girls to better literature so that they will have the lifelong desire for the written word.

And so, I spend considerable amounts of late night hours reading a plethora of genres, authors, and reading levels...I'm trying to find books that are not only age appropriate, but at the same time will provide them with a rich development of character and storyline.

Over the years, we've read countless books...classics, historical fiction, realistic fiction, fantasy, mystery...Infact, I've actually listed a few of the books HERE in a past blog post. These are books more for my younger elementary girls.

I was bemoaning to Italian Stallion the fact that kids just aren't into books like Anne of Green Gables anymore ( my all time favorite series..IN. THE. WORLD.).  He was clearly disinterested in my summation and perplexed as to why I couldn't just make the girls read it and then they'd love it like I did...to which I explained that the Anne series to them, was like forcing me to read Jane Austen as a 6th grader...the literature is great, but the content gap (at this season of life and generation) is widespread.  Just read the very first SENTENCE in Anne of Green Gables and you will understand...(go ahead, I dare you)

Therefore, I spend my time trying to discover more recent books that will maintain that same level of richness, but keep their attention as well...

Here's what I've been reading lately...
side note: some of these are absolutely not age appropriate for even my 6th grader at this time (in my opinion) but I'm reading them so that I have my arsenal ready for when the time comes)

Divergent Series: This series, is that whole Dystopian genre phenomenon...to be flat out honest, it was disturbing...even more so than Hunger Games (and I thoroughly enjoyed the literature of Susanne Collin's stories, although lots of disclaimers there as well, as seen in THIS post awhile back) And spoiler alert: I hated the way they ended it in Allegient...seriously, let's go from depressing to DEPRESSING!

Goose Girl Series: I love me some Shannon Hale books...If you've heard me rave about Princess Academy, then you'll know that I love this gal's writing.  Whereas Princess Academy didn't really fit into any genre (it never gave a time period, although I suppose historical might be the closest to compare) Goose Girl definitely fit into more of the medieval realm.  And, being the mom of girls, I loved the heroines!

Percy Jackson series: I loved the Harry Potter series...excellent writing, overwhelming imagination and good overturns evil...(however, I have made my girls wait long periods between books because of the "dark" in them and my understanding of their individual emotional maturity...currently, my 4th grader is allowed to finish book 4 and will wait to continue...this is probably worthy of an entirely different blog post but I'll save you and stop here) Percy Jackson is Harry Potter in Greek Mythology.  Percy = Harry, and he has a friend that's a girl (aka Hermioine) that's super smart and a guy buddy that's a little dense but loyal (aka Ron) and they all go to Half Blood camp (aka Hogwarts)...It's a fun story line filled with adventure and decision making.  I got more hung up on all their "god talk"...and after the 3rd book, I had to put it down because I was tired of them "praying to the gods", "sacrificing to the gods",  and all the gods coming down to have sex with all the humans to create "demigods" so much so, that it filled the Half Blood camp...etc etc...it's probably not one I'd recommend for my girls, unless they go wildfire crazy about Harry Potter ...(I have a thing about NOT desensitizing them and I think it's a fine line between informing/living IN this world and just accepting things as they are, especially as it concerns their relationship with Jesus) anyhoo, that's my two cents.

The Book Thief: I'm one of those ridiculous people that upon discovering that a movie is based upon a book, I won't go see the movie until I've actually read the book...therefore, I've had this book on the waiting list for awhile now.  I know it's about Nazi Germany and therefore I know it's going to be sad and depressing too.  But, I love historical fiction, even if it brings feelings of sadness and outrage.  I'm halfway through this right now.

My line up currently in the book basket is Eragon, a plethora of Inspirational fiction reads just for me, a retelling of The Scarlet Letter, and I'm waiting on another teen fantasy series to come in on reserve at the library, again just to see what's out there for my girls.  This along side the fun series of Kylie Jean for Little Munchkin and finishing up the Gregor series  with Peanut.  Peanut is also currently reading Poetry Novel entitled Inside Out and Back Again  of which I'm anxious to get my hands on and finish before her just so I have an idea of what's going on before she writes up her response/reaction to that new genre.

Sweetpea is working on the UnWanteds Series by Lisa McMann...and those of you that know my Calculus teacher from good ole FRHS...yep, that's his daughter in law...she's a well known author in the youth fiction department.  I was giddy to find this series.  I remember Mr. McMann's son Matt (Lisa' husband) and so I scooped up this series as soon as I learned of it.  It's basically Harry Potter meets Hunger Games...a much more tame than Hunger Games, but all the excitement and wizardry of J.K. Rowling.

Well..that's my blabbing for today...my blogging is sporadic at best..hope you'll bear with me...

Let's Talk About It...

I use this terminology with my Italian Stallion...a lot...

If you didn't remember, (because goodness sakes it's been forever since I've blogged in a consistent manner) I tend to be a words person...

this means that the way to my heart is through words...and LOTS OF THEM...let me be clear here, not just ANY words...oh no...I like all those wonderful, drippy words of affirmation, adoration and love...I'm a validation monger...

I've kept every printed email, letter, card, post it note, you name it, that my hubby has ever left for me in unsuspecting places and/or in my PO box in college...and I won't lie, I keep them in a couple of boxes in my closet where I may or may not, occasionally lock myself in and reminisce over his words of love written to me over the years...
(if I happen to have a bag of chips and a bowl of chocolate chips in there with me, it's purely coincidental)

And when people say you marry your opposite, they aren't kidding...

I married my opposite...where I like to talk...let me rephrase (because I'm really good at coming up with more words than necessary to get my point across) I enjoy the sound of my own voice...sometimes I will have conversations with myself in the mirror just so I can "hear" another side to the same story.  (true vulnerability here...TRUE)

My husband on the other hand, is not a talker.  It's not that he isn't social...oh no...he can whoop it up with the best of them...but, he isn't' necessarily energized by speaking with large crowds of people listening in.  The thing is, when he does talk, people DO listen....as opposed to when I start talking and talking and talking and talking...people often have a tendency to tune me out...

are you still there?

Facebook is a classic example of this...he can go weeks without updating his status, but the minute he does, he is witty and classic and everyone...and I mean E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. goes on over and gives him a little "like" or a comment...

Me on the other hand, I can write a plethora of updates, blog posts, shares and what have you...and I'll stalk my iphone for push notifications that someone has landed on my post...and perhaps I'll get a few...I mean really, how hard is it to just comment, "you are amazing!!!" because don't people realize that my day begins and ends with my notoriety on Facebook for heavens sake! (not really, but it sounds like a good rant...okay maybe a little)

I digress

...back to "let's talk about it"...It's my thing with I.S....I'll set it up for you...

Me: So, do you remember when you first saw me? (batting my eyes and looking all sappy)
Italian Stallion: Yes
Me: do you remember what you were thinking and what you thought about after you saw me?
I. S. : Umm, I don't know
Me: Okay, well LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...let's talk about all the things you like about me..

I'm not high maintenance AT ALL...AT ALL people...

We have recently deemed Fridays as our LUNCH DATE DAY!  We have discovered that a "night out" date takes wayyy too much time and effort and not to mention more money trying to figure where the kids are going to go and then I have to make a meal anyway even though he & I aren't going to eat it and blah blah blah...

And I welcome in the Season Of:  All The Kids Are In School now...it's a glorious time, let me tell you...

It's not that I don't enjoy my children...I even homeschooled for awhile and loved it!  However, if you've got to make lemonade out of lemons...man, we got a gooooood batch goin' on now!  So Friday mornings after I take my girls into school and stay volunteering for an hour or so, I hop in the car and pick up Italian Stallion at the office, and we head out for a lunch date...

This usually consists of me talking and him listening (go figure...) but, it's our way of connecting (okay, maybe it leans more heavily on my way of connecting...let's not get started on his way of connecting because that's a whole other blog post entitled, "Innuendos are the Spice of Life")

The point that I'm getting to here is that, as with any relationship, it takes time to invest into it...time to figure out what energizes the other person and being selfless enough to honor it...he does this for me...and I know it can't be easy for him because HIGH MAINTENANCE!

But, we're both committed...we've been through many "I'm sorrys" and "I'm wrong" and "I forgive you" (and I can guarantee that we have many more to come) and we have no idea what's on the path ahead...but we're committed to walking hand in hand along it...even though we might even incur some dragging or just sitting down and waiting...I am still in awe that I have this guy beside me that always fights for me, I am humbled by his own humility and his willingness to put me before himself...

And so when I, for the umpteenth time, squeeze his hand and say, "Let's talk about it"...he's right there...knowing exactly what I need...and it's just plain amazing!

X + Y = ????

It still baffles me that I minored in Math in college.

This is perplexing on so many levels, not the least of which being that I still need to count on my fingers to determine 8+5 and other basic addition facts.

My past math teachers are cringing.

I struggled in math...just ask my dad...

He's the one that would watch in bewilderment as I would sob uncontrollably lamenting over the fact that I didn't care how fast the stupid train was going and who the heck cared the age differences between Bob, Sue and Coco when Bob was x years older than Sue and Coco had could run a 6 minute mile?

many, many, many nights of crying...tear stained homework papers...scribbled messes and eraser marks until you could barely see my "shown work" on the non-recycled white notebook paper.

I drove my classmates crazy...

I drove my teachers crazy...

I was on a mission to force my brain to soak up whatever it was that everyone else appeared to understand so that I could get that A on the test.

For me it was the challenge...it was the proving that I COULD get that coveted 4.0 and prove to my parents and any people that ever bullied me in the past the world that I could conquer anything.

Looking back, yes, I may have learned some valuable lessons about never giving up, and learning to think critically and not to mention becoming enlightened as to the value of a high-end quality eraser.

If I am honest with myself however, I do realize that though my grades reflect that I have an exemplary understanding of math concepts, this is a complete and utter falsehood.

I know this to be true because I attempted to check my 6th grade daughter's math homework last night and was reminded again that not only do I not care how many chairs Mr. Lee can paint in 3 hours using 7 liters of paint, but that I often can't even determine what in the world the problem is asking? (i.e. what is X?)

Far be it from me to leave my daughter stranded...Momma Bear to the rescue...

Fortunately Momma Bear has a math minded dad, a ridiculously smart brother, a math teacher sister in law and GOOGLE!  And so, into the wee hours of the morning (or maybe it was only 9:30 at night, but, I was concentrating, so let us imagine that I was burning the midnight oil because it makes this post actually slightly interesting, or at least it does in my mind, okay?) I worked on the last problem of her homework trying to remember equations for rate and getting distracted that Mr. Lee was actually painting so many chairs, and what color paint was he using?

I was so thankful...and I MEAN THANKFUL that my daughter didn't seem as distraught as me over this lack of understanding...it's not that I don't want her to WANT to learn...she just doesn't need to obtain ulcers and cry buckets over people who choose to paint chairs for a living.

I do see some resemblances though between Sweetpea and myself at that age.  I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I do have a small degree of anxiousness surrounding her desire for perfection, but I was encouraged last night that it was only I that began yelling at Mr. Lee, "For the love of all things holy, just get a new profession and buy recliners so we don't have to answer this stupid question!"

Downton returns :)

Did y'all watch Downton Abbey last night?

I have no idea why I suddenly have adopted a southern twang when I obviously want to be everything British...but, it probably is a contributing factor as to why I thought Granny (aka Violet Crawley, Countess of Grantham) threatened Robert to call the nanny and send him to bed without his THUMPER!

As I sat lounging on my couch, with my iphone at the ready, I searched for the year that Bambi was first introduced (knowing full well that Mr. Disney was probably in elementary school during this post-Edwardian era of Downton)...this my friends, is technological advances at it's best!

I was just clueless...did Robert have a toy named "thumper" that he had to sleep with as a boy?  Is Bambi a book that is read to young English lads?

And then I did the unimaginable...I posted my inquiry on facebook...because someone else could help connect the dots for me right?  There must be many that were perplexed by this admonition from dear Maggie Smith!!!

I'm fortunate that my friends understand my certain lapses in reality...they understand that though my hair has become brown as I've aged, it is still quite BLONDE in nature...

She said SUP-PAH...or in plain American language:  SUPPER

She said supper people...

SUPPER...

I must admit that this is quite the blow to the nearly 40 year old who thinks that by growing her hair long she could one day pass for Princess Kate's doppelganger...

I have already watched the entire Season 4 of Downton...I couldn't wait...and when I say watched, I mean that I skipped to the Christmas special so that I wouldn't have any surprises and I could just go on loving Anna & Bates and pray that Barrow got sacked at some point, because who needs a villian in a British soap opera right?

I will be re-watching the season this winter...if only to improve my ability to understand the English language for heavens sake...

And, I still refuse to cut my hair...just yet...

I will not give up hope!!!

one word: CHOOSE

My last blog post (on this personal blog) was back in March of 2013...

It's not as if I haven't had much to write about...it's probably more the fact that it's easier to just share pics on facebook and the fact that I'm not a big fan of debate...and the things that are going through my mind sometimes, lend themselves to "discussion"...and while I'm happy to have those discussions in person, I'm not all that excited about hashing it out for all the world to see.

So, those are my excuses...

they are lame...

I know...

But, here we are at the beginning of 2014 and I realize that my word for 2013 was SEE...that I would SEE as God sees...my husband, my children, my friends, strangers...

I will say that I had an awakening of sorts...and sometimes that brings pain....

I attempted to look past my own present day-in, day-out...and sometimes my heart broke...

sometimes I failed miserably and "saw" only what I wanted to see...

sometimes I saw something and was called to speak that which  was true when I'd really rather just keep my mouth shut...

I learned more about my girls this year...tapped into a part of their hearts and discovered so much that my heart nearly burst..and it brought me to my knees in gratefulness and yet, steady prayer for the future.

I am struggling with a WORD for 2014...There are a gazillion things I'd love to "change" about myself...things I need to work on...let's face it...I'm a huge "work in progress" story, so to narrow it to one thing...UGH

and not only that...to actually have the meaning sink deep...

I started to think about the person I am now...and where I want to be...and what is it that keeps me from getting there??? And goodness that list is LONGGGGG...

I then started compiling lists of words that could work...to be my focus for the year...and good grief, I couldn't make a decision!!!

I'm indecisive by nature.  I remember after going out one evening with Italian Stallion, I called my brother (we were both in college at the time)...I relayed the story of the date to him...He was quiet for a bit and then he just, point blank said, "He's the one you're gonna marry"...I'm not sure if those were his exact words, but it was something along those lines that caused me to question him as to his assuredness to this "fact"...He said it was because Italian Stallion made me make decisions about things.  It wasn't that he didn't know where to eat or what movie to see...it was rather, that he knew that I would avoid a decision like the plague because I've always struggled with confidence about decision making...and even wayyyy back then, he began working on me...encouraging me to see that I COULD make good decisions...

I also tend to be a "feeler"...and if truth be known, I probably enjoy playing the role of "victim" much more than I should..."it's so and so's fault...I can't control the way I feel...because this happened to me, I'm this way"...and the list goes on...

What I realized is that I hang onto the lie that there is no hope...I wallow...BIG TIME...

When in reality, we all have a choice...

No we can't help how we "feel", we can't help what things happen to us, we can't help how people react to us, we can't control the weather or even the stock market...HOWEVER, we have a CHOICE how we react to it...how we CHOOSE to respond to our emotions...to the situations that life throws at us...

I'm sad to say that I often CHOOSE to give in to my proneness to sin, instead of fighting it...I "victimize" myself and then I become paralyzed and want others to get me out...

Have you figured out my word yet?

CHOOSE...

I want a reminder this year, that God gives me a choice...He allows me to choose how I will react...He allows me to choose joy, choose to serve, choose to release the past, choose to take a breath and be patient with my girls, choose to sacrifice my time, choose to sleep in or get up early...

Josh 24:15 "choose you this day..."
Proverbs has a lot to say about choosing your words

There are countless others that reiterate a call to make a choice...choose to love, choose to obey, choose to rest...

Infact, I realize that this word actually encompasses a whole lot of other words...like choosing: grace, patience, forgiveness, humility

I realize this and thus my struggle with narrowing it down to one word this year...

Italian Stallion and I have decided to adopt this word for our family as well...something that we will focus on together...taking aspects of our choices and how it pertains to our relationships, school, work ethics, etc...

I settled on CHOOSE instead of Choice, because I wanted a verb and not a noun...something that will pull me out of the rat race to which I often succumb...remind me that I don't have to let my emotions get the better of me...

I will fail at this...I will choose poorly...and sometimes the choice won't have a right or wrong or better or best...(and those are often the most difficult for me to swallow)  But, I hope that I remember that I am not a slave to whatever anyone else thinks, nor to my past, nor to my own inadequacies...

I so have a feeling that perhaps after this year, my 2015 word might need to be REST :)  but, so be it...

It's a big year this year...I turn 40...we'll celebrate 15 years of marriage...I only have 6 more years with my eldest under my roof...I'd say that I'm ready for the challenge!!! and I do not want to let a moment go to waste!

Happy New Year to you all!!!

Vacation to Disneyworld

Many of you already know that Italian Stallion and I took the girls to Disneyworld a week or so ago.  Yep, we just pulled 'em right out of school...we don't let school get in the way of a good education let me tell you...

I will preface this, sure to be LONGGGG post, with this:  if you aren't into reading, please feel free to go over to my facebook page and click through the pictures...over there it's more like the cliff notes version of our trips, but with more "visual aids".

Now...let us begin:

We decided to drive down to Florida this time around...because we love to set ourselves up for punishment spend quality time with our family!  In all honesty, I found a great site online where I was able to print out a ton of "travel" games like Bingo and I spy and hangman, etc...Each of the girls got a clipboard with a gallon sized ziploc bag & wipe-off marker...They stuck their papers inside the bag and could reuse the pages over and over. 

We stocked up on a gazillion books on CD and I.S., being the sweet techie that he is sometimes, got us a little ipod nano so that we could put all those books in one place. 

The girls really only watched the movies or played electronics about 3-4 hours of the 17 hour drive. 

Let's just fast forward through the laments of "how much longer" and "oh, please let there be a Panera at this exit"...

And Wa-la, we arrived in Orlando!

Thanks to I.S.'s parents, we had a nice time-share facility awaiting our arrival and we had some free accomodations for the week.  He headed to the grocery while I helped finish up the rest of the homework that we could manage...the first day was to be our "pack it all in" day...

Everyone was so excited, and after a hearty breakfast of pancakes & waffles at nearly 6:30 in the morning, we packed up our lunches and headed to Epcot for round one of our Disney experience!

I'm not a morning person...normally...but, if you are going to get me up, make me get dressed, fix breakfast, pack up with no option of returning for the day...you better believe that I'm just going to talk your ear off then...(it's my way of letting you know how much I care:)

Therefore, the poor people at Epcot were in for an earful...

Being the MASTER of OBSERVATION, I like to point out the obvious in most situations (at least this is what my hubby tells me)  I'm not sure if it was my loud exclamations of excitement or the fact that I needed to ask everyone that we passed where they were from...but we must have caught the attention of someone...That someone being one of the "cast members" who opens the park...

She got us through the gate early, hauled us all over the Future World area taking our picture left and right...all this before the clock struck 9am...We then had to help her say "hello" in all the different languages (of which I have no recollection except for maybe "halo"?  I have no idea...I like to talk, but I"m not the best at listening:)   Anyhoo...next thing I know she's handing us a free pass to any ride so that we can jump to the front of the line and she tells us to RUN before she opens the gates...

We headed off to Soarin'...one of our favorites and got to ride it twice before anyone else really got there....Italian Stallion and I couldn't believe the sweet surprise God gave us by being chosen to be the family of the day...it just set the mood for the next 24 hours to say the least:) 

Epcot is probably my favorite park...the girls like it too, but what kid is going to choose Epcot over Magic Kingdom?  Ummm...not mine...so, I soaked it all in, because this was it...Italian Stallion and little Peanut helped by being chosen in nearly every country to be apart of the skits or presentations...I can't tell you how many buttons we obtained from their little "drama" jaunts.

We headed back to the hotel that evening exhausted but happy...

The next day was spent at SeaWorld and we were all about the dolphins...we got to that park early, too (because apparantly the adrenaline still hadn't worn off) We headed straight for the dolphin feeding area and got that blessed event taken care of...it caused my daughters to determine right then and there, that on top of wanting to be teachers, veterinarians, ballet instructors, photographers (they totally put that one in there to make me smile) and President of the United States...they also want to become dolphin trainers. 

Therefore, we spent a considerable amount of time seeking out said trainers and hounding them kindly asking them questions about their daily duties, where they studied, what degrees did they get, how did they interview...(it was pathetic, I know)

Having never been to Seaworld before, I relied heavily on what my SIL had advised and we hit as many shows as possible...it was a nice breather from hikin' all over World Showcase the day before...so we sat in the bleachers, ate gummy bears and watched sealions bark and Shamu splash all those people that sat in the soak areas.

As we approached day 3 we told the children, "Now, don't expect to be chosen as family of the day at Magic Kingdom...this is how entitlement starts girls...it was a very unique experience on Monday, but IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!"...(yes we are THOSE kind of parents)  With that, we entered the Magic Kingdom waiting area and started getting out the photography gear and getting Little Munchkin situated in the stroller...

Then...lord love a duck (those that had Calculus & Physics with me in High school will understand that expression) another cast member came up and asked if we'd be his Family of the Day...It just got us in the park early before anyone else and we could go wherever we wanted...

Italian Stallion and I just looked at each other and asked, "should we go buy a lottery ticket?  seriously what are the odds?"  I think we all were dumbfounded, but far be it from us to let that stop us...we trekked our way to the farthest part of the park (up to New Fantasyland) We had heard horror stories of 75-120 minute waits for the Belle storytime and Ariel's grotto...So, being first in the park, we were the first in line for those and were able to get more accomplished in the first hour of our stepping foot into the Magic Kingdom than I think we did for the next 5 hours combined.  Not to mention we had a "chance" encounter with the big Mouse himself...raining blessings, I kid you not!

There were tons of favorite things in the Magic Kingdom, which is why we came back for a second day later that week.  Little Munchkin can ride on most roller coasters now and seeing that we have all girls, it wasn't an issue staying in one place or another because they all like the same things in that regard.  We even all have our favorite princess...including Daddy (he will hate me for writing that, so you'll just have to ask him yourself)

Oh, don't feel too badly for him...we were all over Pirates of the Caribbean & Big Thunder Mountain...and heaven help us, we discovered hidden Mickeys on this trip and that meant multiple trips to the same rides to find more of them! 

We were debating whether to go to Hollywood Studios or not for our 4th day of adventure...Little Munchkin likes Doc McStuffins & Sophia the First...but other than that, this particular park doesn't really hold all that much excitement for them...However, having the 5 day pass, we figured that we might as well...and we thought to just let the girls experience things out of the norm. 

This led to us having to sum up the entire 6 Star Wars movies during our 10 minute line wait for the Star Tours ride...Sweetpea kept asking, "Now, who is Luke again? and who's the princess?"  Italian Stallion just rolled his eyes as I tried to go from Annikin Skywalker meets Padme'...to, they have twins, but then he becomes Darth Vadar and then Luke tries to save him but they were fighting to the death...because he finds out he's his father...

Needless to say, I doubt my stellar rendition of StarWars will motivate them to want to see the movies, but at least we enjoyed the ride without getting too "sick" with all the motion goin' on. 

We then thought we'd try out a few stunt shows...which again, led to "Who's Indiana Jones?" 

My poor girls...what a sad thing to not have brothers...

well...that and a mother who really isn't into all that either because my answer to their question was, "Oh, he's just some guy who looks for lost things and gets in trouble...let's just watch the show!"

Italian Stallion, in the hopes to salvage any possibility of a future with girls that might be interested in trains, planes & automobiles, felt the need to wave wildly at the announcer of the show so that he could be included in the "taped production" of Indy...This turned out to be a great turn of events, except for the fact that Little Munchkin began to sob (LOUDLY) "Mommy, I think Daddy is going to DIE!!!"  But, when it was all said and done, the girls were giddy that their Daddy was in a "movie" and they learned that Indiana Jones likes his hat and can crack a whip! 

Day 5 of our week we headed back to Magic Kingdom for some more of the same (and some funnel cakes for Mommy)...Our last day in Orlando saw us visiting Animal Kingdom...By this time we were basically sleepwalking because we had just pushed so hard all those other days.  But, it was a nice park to end on again because of the fantastic shows and safaris.  This park happened to open at 8am on Saturday so we got there and headed to Kilamanjaro first off...we saw nearly every animal listed and only had a total of 7 people in our Safari vehicle usually seating about 30...

By 3pm we were ready for our trip back home...I take that back, we might have been physically ready by about 10am, but we were determined to see it all:)

Yep...we're crazy like that...Italian Stallion decided that we were going to drive through the night, too...starting after our visit to Animal Kingdom...after our long & pleasurably exhausting week at Disney...after having not slept for more than about 5-6 hours per night the prior 5 days...

Brilliance I tell you...BRILLIANCE!

I don't think either of us has ever before inhaled that many gummies, sweettarts, soda, skittles, trailmix, and 5 hour energy drinks!

Thank God's mercies, we arrived home at 8:30am on Sunday morning...we had the day to recoop before we sent the girls back to school the following morning...and before Italian Stallion had to jump on a plane to Chicago for work the next day!

Momma bear here just had her fill of walking around in her pjs all day and begging Little Munchkin to take naps with her. 

So there you have it...that's our trip in a nutshell...like I said, if you'd like to see pictures, you can venture over to my facebook page...it's much easier to load them over there...but at least you get the gist of the trip:) OR you can watch the little video I put together, you'll just have to fill in your own captions.

 I learned alot from this vacation...and I don't say that saracastically either (just yet)...I really did...not just in "How to do Disney with 3 girls"...but, it was a really neat experience watching my girls interact and fight over who got to ride with Daddy and making decisions about how to spend their saved up moneys for souvenirs. 

The other things were learned were things like:

1. All people coming to Disney parks should be required to take a stroller pushing course.  You don't stop in the middle of the road while driving a car when your child throws his sippy cup to the ground, so please don't just stop and decide to pull out snacks in the middle of the walkway.

2. Don't give your camera to your husband when your baby is riding her very first roller coaster with you WITHOUT setting it up first...otherwise you get photos that look like this:

Yep, that's me and Little Munch...you can barely see us because I literally passed my camera back through the line of people inside so that I.S. could hold it better as I knew my hands would be full...he got off the ride first and unbeknownst to him, I had my settings ready for INside shots, not the blazing outdoor sunny ones:)

3.  Another photo lesson learned:  be sure you are checking your settings on your camera as your light changes and/or as others have used the camera...otherwise you might capture Cinderella's castle exploding rather than looking lit up by a celebration, this is very saddening for young daughters to experience...for example:

4. Be aware that just because you are first in line doesn't necessarily mean that you'll get the best seat...infact, once you get in and get yourself all set up in what you will regard as the 'best seat in the house'...the cast members will tell everyone to LEAVE your spot and scoot in towards the "other" seats to make room for the people that decided that they didn't want to sit in a 40 minute line, but knew they'd get the better seats if they just came in late...(if you haven't caught on yet, THIS is one of my biggest pet peeves)

I'm very thankful that Italian Stallion values vacationing with our family.  We don't always do it this big by any means...sometimes "vacation" is more like a "staycation"...but regardless, it means spending time together...being in different situations and soaking up the experiences.  It's another way of making memories...and I don't take it for granted one bit!

Nursin' a Bum Knee

So, it figures that while on my last 2 weeks of an exercise program...in which I began because I have a fear of actually looking older than my age in my baby sister's wedding as I"m walking down the aisle in a, albeit beautiful, dress made more for those in the twenty-something range...
(hello run-on sentence)

THAT, I would blow out my knee...

Now, when I say blow out my knee, I don't necessarily mean "blew it out"...I don't really know what that means...however, I will tell you that along with my "normal" cracking & snapping joints, I now have the melodic sound of grinding as I walk, climb stairs or sit down & cross my legs...

it's just a tad irritating (and painful)...

Therefore, Insanity has been put on the back shelf and I've begun eating a regime of green smoothies, oatmeal and the occasional half tub of cookie dough (because we all know that sugar has to be good for something otherwise God wouldn't have made it)

It's also that time of year where I get antsy and want to do projects...(as if that's different from any other time of year..)

I've been working on my photography blog (I actually paid to have some work done for me to get a whole new hosted site, BIG step for me!)...however, I've been waiting a bit for that to actually happen, so I'm trying to find other things to occupy my time...

So, I've been stalking goodreads.com and slurpin' down books like a white chocolate mocha (which actually sounds REALLY good right about now...it would go well with my dish of cookie dough:)

Did I happen to mention that our THREE year project of finishing the basement has finally gotten under way again?  yep...we're just getting finished up with the mudding and taping and then I'll get to go balistic on all my ideas from pinterest...

(oh, and when I say "we", I actually mean the guys we had come in and "fix" the "uniquely un-level" walls...I think it bugs Italian Stallion, but I told him that it gives it character, not to mention that it saved us money:)

Here and there I've been sewing, drawing, writing, shopping for clothes that my girls keep outgrowing, scrapbooking, reading, and attempting to keep the main floor of our house clutter free (that continues to be a work in progress)...and have we discussed Downton Abbey?

No?

Oh my...you must first understand that I'm not a TV watcher...I don't really watch anything...not even the news (much to my husband's chagrin, as he has to inform of the days events...and pretty much the nation's events as I sound completely incompetent when I try to engage in conversations with others)

I read a few blogs, but really, I don't watch a lot of anything...

Enter DOWNTON ABBEY...

Although I do believe I would never have survived the era of outdoor bathrooms, non-electric washing machines and candles for light, I do adore the fashion and simplicity...I think I just like to stare at the pretty dresses and hair styles of the time.  With every TV show, there are some episodes that have storylines that I think they just threw in there to make it "politically-correct" and really aren't my taste at all, but on the whole, compared to everything else that is out there, this show is just lovely!  For those that haven't seen it, you can get yourselves caught up at www.simplyjune.org and watch it all there...

The author of that blog (June), has another series that she recommends (again, a PBS/British program) called "Calling the Midwife"...I'm a little intrigued, so I might be checking that out whilst D.A. decides how they're going to fix the mess they've created with killing off some of my favorite characters:( but, I'm okay as long as they all keep talking with a British accent:)

That's it for now...I need to find my "groove" again with writing, so I beg that you bear with me as I locate my "voice"...amidst my everyday life...

sincerely,
me

A little change...

I really do love to write...

My brain is swimming with thoughts and emotions and lists and memories and...wait, a minute, did I start the dishwasher?...

Where was I?

Yes, well...I love to write...but I also get distracted and I kinda get bored sometimes...

Which is probably why I seem to have a million "projects" going on at my house at any given time...

However, this blog has been on the backburner for awhile lately...

I've been a little busy with:

listening to sermons
reading books
CTPhotoMemories sessions
Logo designs & just plain playing on photoshop
housework
homework (helping the girls)
volunteering at the school
packing for a vacation
keeping people healthy
working out
did I say packing for vacation???  you did NOT hear that ;)
balancing the budget (as in OUR's obviously NOT our nation's)
watching Downton Abbey (be still my heart)
homeschooling Lil' Munchkin
searching for ideas for the almost finished basement
drinking Tea...LOTS of tea
making green smoothies
trying to come up with different dinners to prepare
goin' on dates with my Italian Stallion

that's just "some" of the stuff that I've let occupy my time rather than blogging...

Just wanted to let you know where I was:)  I'll stop in periodically, as I get a chance...Little Munchkin will start regular school in the fall...it will be at that point that I will most likely have an identity crisis and/or head off on some shopping sprees or get lost in Barnes & Noble, but I have a few months until then, and therefore, I"m doing my best to just enjoy the time we have...

Hope you all are doing well in this FREEZING cold tundra of the midwest...

See you soon...

I have a pimple on my EAR LOBE...

seriously...ON my EAR LOBE...

What in the world?

My forehead resembles a mine field of pot holes left from WWI...

and that's being kind...

I'm not sure what causes this outbreak every other year or so...usually right around the same time of year, and usually it coincides with me trying to work out...

Maybe I should take that as hint... WORKOUTS = BREAKOUTS

I don't understand why exactly...I start to eat healthier foods, I wash my face day and night...I've now started to use a medication on my red, blotched T zone because to be honest, these large, mountainous craters are painful!

I'd like to know why they felt the need to cross over to my ear lobes however...were there just not enough dots to connect from my chin to my temples?  Come on now!!! 

I thought I was too old for this sort of thing...I was gearing up for dealing with these little "inconveniences" with my tween in the coming years...not ME standing in front of a mirror trying to decide whether to  (lord forbid) stick an actual pin in to pop it and rid me of the misery or to wait it out another day and refrain from going within a 2 inch radius around the area!!!  BLEH...

Fun topics for a Sunday night huh? 

In other news...

a friend turned me on to a supposed "miracle" brush, called The Wet Brush in order to deal with the tangles that seem to infest Peanut's hair...

oh the joys of discussing "girl beauty" this evening...

I purchased it tonight and so far, so good...it doesn't necessarily take away all whining, but it does make the detangling go a bit faster and therefore results in fewer tears...

I will take that anyday of the week and TWICE on Sunday:) 

This is just what my life tends to look like here of late...and I just thought I'd be kind enough to share that with you:)

In fact...here are some more tidbits in case you were just BEYOND curious as to what "life with Mamarazzi" might look like at this time of year...so here it goes..

IT LOOKS LIKE...

...holding onto the jiggle, that is my muffin top, while doing the Heismann during Insanity workouts just so it doesn't produce anymore stretch marks than what is already there:)

...doing mounds of laundry daily, only to get distracted while piles load up on the couch so that I can grab a quick chapter read from whatever book happens to be laying around the house. ( I do not struggle with relaxation, that's for sure:)

...listening to really great sermons from Mark Driscoll about Real Marriage

...tucking 3 little girls in at night AT LEAST 5 times because: "i need some water, i forgot some homework, don't forget to wake me up early, i'm hungry, i'm having bad dreams, i think my foot hurts..."

...drinking Teavana Tea and pretending I'm a complete Tea snob whilst I walk out to the bus stop in my pajamas.

...spending hours on the computer after everyone is in bed trying to create the PERFECT 2012 scrapbook for my family and having to start over almost every other night because I can't make up my mind about size or page layouts...oh the joys of being a perfectionist in areas that don't really make much sense???? UGH

...watching basketball games played by Peanut and being so proud that she has found something that is hers alone (not to mention, I actually understand the sport a bit, seeing as I actually played in highschool...which is more than I can say about my understanding about ANY other sport out there)

...saying DROP and NO BITE at least 102938472039457 times a day to my sweet puppy whom we've decided is now able to roam more areas of the house...perhaps that was a mistake this early in the process...hmmmm????

...buying stock in chapstick because lord have mercy, this constant change in weather and the licking of the lips is causing every girl in this household to have swollen lips!!!

...curling up with a big blanket, and reading books to Little Munchkin AND having her read books back to me because she FINALLY feels like learning to read "might" be fun...although, "I like it MUCH better when YOU read to me, Mommy!"

...drinking green smoothies and actually LIKING them!

...watching episodes of Downton Abbey and wishing I could visit England and have tea with Kate or Pippa...Teavana Tea of course:)

Life is good...it's never boring, that's for sure...

Hope you have a great week!!!

SEEING more clearly...

A friend of mine directed me to this magazine...I don't have a subscription to it, but I want one now:)  I love the magazine's about me page where it says:

Our lives are the sum
Of each moment and interaction.
Each day we work, eat, laugh, teach, play, read, remember…
And work at it all again the next day.
Within seemingly small moments we find opportunity
To build relationships, develop character, find joy
For the price of our time.
Life’s most essential possibilities are realized at home.
Where we share, teach, grow, learn, serve, give
Our best without praise or fanfare.
Because every effort, every moment matters
In the development of a person.
Nothing is really routine.
To all who see the everyday.


I know that I shared Ann Voskamp's video last year...

Both of these combined seem to encapsulate what I really want this year...and here it is only 2.5 weeks into the new year and I'm struggling in my moment by moment...

I get so distracted...so pulled off course...

my lack of time management skills...NO...that's not it...it's my lack of SEEING what's truly important and what I feel necessary to CHECK OFF MY LIST!!!

When will I get it right?

And then I stop...

and I remember the One who is control of ALL of my moments... and I am utterly thankful for His grace...

I wonder if He rolls His eyes when I realize yet again that the attraction of facebook pulled me away, yet again, from finishing a song with Little Munchkin...or the distraction of housework yanked me away from spending time with a friend...

Thankful that He doesn't give up on me...even if I sometimes give up on myself...

I soooo want to SEE more clearly!!!

Not much of anything...

I woke with quite the ambition this morning...

I woke up fresh, alive, ready to tackle the day...

Okay...so I'm lying...I NEVER wake up fresh, alive and ready to tackle the day...it's more like I lay in bed with one eye open and one foot on the floor WILLING my body to roll just enough to balance myself off the edge...

today was no different...

But, we did get much accomplished, which is quite the task when the girlies are off of school and Mommy is going through the "moody blues" because she can't seem to keep her mind focused on one thing (WHICH, if you read my previous posts, was my WHOLE new year's resolution...oh how far we fall, in just a matter of a few days)

Accomplish we did however...by golly!  I got those girlies workin'...got myself a regular work camp goin' on over here...

Which basically means that I set the timer for one hour and told them that we were cleaning for just 60 minutes and then we could have treats:) 

yippee

 

We made our lists and were off and running...(while Mommy completely copped out and followed them around with her camera so she could document the fact that they were IN FACT working)

 

 

 

 

 

This all took place after the girls did a little "insanity" work out with me...I'm going to chalk it up to "muscle weighs more than fat", the fact that I've gained 5 lbs since day 1 of Insanity...it is now day 16...and though I feel better, have a bit more energy and can actually SUCK IN the muffin top with a tad more ease, I've decided that the scale is just not my friend and we're going to part ways for awhile...maybe until June...

 

In other WONDERFUL news...the acne that I had as a teenager did not feel that it tortured me enough back then and has decided to invade my forehead with such tenacity that I think I might cry...

 

bored to tears yet? 

 

I know...my life is THRILLING...is it not?

 

Lives that ARE thrilling can be found in my new found television love of Downton Abbey...

 

I don't really watch TV...not much at all...and movies outside the realm of Pride & Prejudice and possibly Les Miserables (once it comes to our $5 theater) don't really hold my attention...I"m more of a "blog-reader, facebook stalker, book reader" type person..

 

But, someone last year brought my attention to this sweet drama...and seeing as I love all things English (did I mention that I long to see Great Britian one day..along with my Scotland & Ireland heritage homes?)  Anyhoo...I got seasons 1 and 2 from the library last year and watched them all in about a week's time...and season 3 has just begun here in the states....

 

It makes me wish MY name was Pippa, instead of my sweet puppy:)  Or maybe Anna (she's my favorite character) 

 

Anyway, that's life right now on the homefront...we surprised our girls with some exciting news that I will definitely be sharing in the future (and no I'm not pregnant)

 

I hope to be able to spend a bit more time blogging in the future...I miss writing...

 

Here's to hoping for a fresh morning tomorrow:)

One Word: SEE

Every new year people make resolutions...

I am not exempt...

there are a gazillion things that I wish I could RESOLVE to do...

I want to blog more, exercise, lose weight, eat right, spend more time in the flower bed, keep my house clean, keep up with laundry, read more professional books, practice more photography...

Nearly everything that I've ever "resolved" to do has involved ACTING on something...

And to be completely honest...I get burned out...

I've always been a person who has had to "do more"..."be the best"...I've always expected more out of myself than what I probably should have...

Don't get me wrong...I don't think it's wrong to try...to strive to be good at something...

The trouble is, at least for me, that in my striving, in my climbing to the top...I often forget WHO I am along the way...I know that sounds cliche', but let me explain...

I've always DONE and ACTED out of different motivations...I have called it "challenging myself" or "setting expectations" or "people pleasing" or "a competitive nature"...  It's this intrisic desire to "check it off"...to proclaim to the world that I've accomplished something...it started in elementary school and continued until about mid way through my freshman year in college when I finally burnt out...although it still comes back in spurts...it usually happens when I "feel" like I"m not MORE...(more of what, I don't know...but it's usually when I don't feel content with myself or things around me)

Again, I'm not saying that I don't think it's good to try...(I practice continually with photography and I've recently started exercising again)...It's when "motivations" take hold of me...take ALL my focus and energy...it's when those THINGS that are seemingly "good things" to IMPROVE me, start to overpower me...and my whole BEING feels compelled to accomplish the task...sometimes at the expense of time with family and even sleep...and my contentedness with myself & who I was made to be is then marred with the lack of a certain accomplishment or disappointment...

One of my BFFs directed me again to a different concept with regards to resolutions...I've heard of it before, but have never explored it...

until this year...

It's called ONE WORD...

You choose one word that you resolve to use during the year...it can be anything you choose..but, I'm assuming it should be something that, when you look at the word, it strikes an inner nerve and spurs you on to BE...

This "BEing" is what strikes me...I've always associated myself with what I have accomplished...and when I think about that picture, it's a lie...I'm NOT just the cullmination of whatever I have set my mind to conquer...

I was created in the image of a God that made me unique...purely for His pleasure...with a purpose that He set out for me...

All this to say...My ONE WORD for this year is SEE...

Jesus is always saying, "Come and See" ~John 1:39
We are called to "See the wonders..." ~Ps 66:5
I want to "See his face..." ~Ps. 17:5

As I'm navigating through this life...through the endless loads of laundry...through the photo sessions of beautiful people...through the homework at the kitchen table...through the preparing of meals and packing lunches...through the sweat & effort of exercise...

I want to SEE...

...my girls' hearts
...my husband's needs
...more of God
...how God sees me
...situations for what they are and not what I make them out to be in my head
...deeper to the soul of a person and not just the outside
...good, when bad is all around
...the personalities and relationships of the people I encounter
...beauty, when my mood tells me otherwise
...clearly and not through whatever "glasses" I've put on b/c of my past experiences

This is my New Year's Resolution...

My hope is that in my SEEing this year, my heart will draw closer to Him...that my vision will change and become closer to what He sees...and in turn, it will allow me to offer more grace not only to others, but to myself as well:)