We're adding to the family:)

Did I totally scare some of you into thinking that I'm pregnant? 

NOPE...it's not that...but, don't get me started about it b/c my youngest is almost 4 and I'm on the upswing headed to 40 and I've got to be honest that it's a little unsettling to realize that I'm ending an "era"...

but, I digress...and get way too weepy and nervous and indecisive...so let's just skip that whole talk and get to the good stuff:)

I want to share with you something our family is doing...

I hesitate to share b/c, as my husband has gently expressed to me his desire to "take our prayer shawl to the closet where no one else can see" (Matt. 6:6) And therefore, I do not boast nor want to bring attention, whether good or bad, to our new endeavor...

but, rather, I was opened up to a new perspective and some parenting holes that I possess with this decision and I thought I'd write it down to commit to prayer and memory...

First off, my husband is a quiet man...and a very generous man...and someone that I admire greatly.  I wish I COULD boast about all his "behind the scenes" work and the ways he gives both with time and in many monetary ways...but, as I have said before...he's NOT going to go for that...so you're just going to have to trust me on this...

Because he works so very hard and thinks about things, sometimes much more deeply than I, I have just followed his lead with regards to giving...where moneys need to be directed, where time needs to be spent, sacrificing one thing for something else, etc...

For about year now, however, I have had a real desire to sponsor a child (and do a whole lot more in a completely different way than where we have in the past...) the problem is that 1) money 2) we'd have to pair down some more 3) my husband would have to see this "need", b/c we weren't going to stop doing all the other things as well...

Short and sweet:  God just saw fit to do it all..BAM...just like that...

And so began our "Family board meeting"...where we decided to sponsor a child in Honduras...

This is where the parenting got a bit hard...to make your own children, who have never known a "want", who've had all their needs met, who get "extras" all the time, who are only cold b/c the car hasn't warmed up yet, who help themselves to 3 and 4 pieces of pizza....

to get them to grasp the poverty in other countries...it's mind-blowing...extremely difficult...they can't imagine or fathom it at all...

For Peanut, it was a logical decision..."this little girl doesn't have something, okay...she can have mine"..."can I have another piece of pizza now?"

For Sweetpea, it was a whole 'nother thing...her mind was reeling and her heart was aching...and yet, she didn't quite know where to go with all this information...she had an easier time giving all her money to go and BUY something rather than give something of hers away...

and THIS is where I saw my flaw...my intense desire to "hang onto things"...in my quest for savoring moments and memories and treasures...I forgot to instill the simple fact that things are just things...

This is where she and I struggle...the letting go, the sacrifice of things that are dear...

but, we're learning...we're revamping...and we're striving in a new way...

Our pastor is down in Honduras right now, with video camera and point and shoot in hand...handpicking a little girl just for our family...and we are on pins and needles waiting to hear back!

My mother in law who speaks fluent Spanish, was a huge help to us in this endeavor...as yesterday, I posted this picture:

I wrote a little book about our family to share with this little girl...


Each page has a different person from our family giving a little introduction and asking questions of her..

I wrote it all out on one sheet and sent it to my mother in law, who in turn, translated everything into Spanish...that way, someone, hopefully will be able to read it to her when Pastor Terry hands it over to her.

The booklet was put into a backpack that Peanut worked hard to earn one summer through reading books at the library. Pastor Terry told us he didn't have much room left, and so we couldn't go with a big package...he wanted it in a small bag...so we thought a backpack would work best, as she will be able to now attend school with a sponsorship.

We put as much stuff as was "scrunchable" into the backpack for her...we don't know her age, family life, grade level...only that we love her already.

I know that many people sponsor children...and I don't post all this to say, "yay, for us, we are so great cuz we're sponsoring a child"...there are a gazillion prayer warriors out there (this is an area where I lack and I am incredibly envious)...there are many others who do so much in other ways...there are many ways that even in our family, that Italian Stallion has led the way...but, as I said, although those things are tremendous...I selfishly wanted to make it more personal, if not just for me, for my girls...

and in just the decision, we saw where we need to work even more on our 'outward focus'...

I am excited about all this, but I will be completely and utterly vulnerable by saying that I know that even this great thing, can have a tendency to become a 'sin' thing if I allow my actions to be boasted to the world...I think there is a reason why Jesus asks us to come to Him privately...He knows that we can get prideful, even in doing the "right" things...

I find myself doing it all the time, "Oh, you read that book?  It's awesome, I've read this and this and this...and oh the wonders that God has taught me..."

Umm, excuse me there Mamarazzi...I believe you need to take a big piece of humble pie.

I have to tread that fine line between thankfulness/excitement/joy AND boasting/pride/look at ME!

Believe me...I'm a "look at me" kind of person too!  YIKES!

So, there you have it...that was my little "story" for the day...I will let you know when we find out her name once we receive it.  Although, I probably won't tell you about anything else that our "family board meeting" discussed...b/c we're sorta meeting in a "closet":)