I finally received THE long-awaited BOOK in the mail last week. I made myself put it on a shelf and wait...
I knew that if I started it, I wouldn't want to put it down and then I'd have more piles of laundry to deal with...(you'd think we have a gazillion clothes the way I discuss laundry, but really, it's a lack of me keeping things folded and put away and trying to teach that jeans CAN be worn at least 2 times if you haven't played outside in them)
Anyway...when I received a moment to myself (around 11:30 at night) I began my journey...
I discovered early on that this book is not one to be gulped down...but rather, needs to be sipped...or taken in very small bites...
...and then you have to take some time to chew...
I am amazed at Ann's ability to put into poetic words, the emotion and vulnerability that she has endured. I marveled at the way she was able to weave words together...sometimes, having to reread paragraphs over and over just to allow the meaning to sink deep.
Does is sound silly to talk about a book like you would food? This isn't a book to be devoured...it isn't even a book to be sweetly eaten with a carefree laugh...but, neither is it painfully difficult...
Rather, it is a soul-searching journey...I don't know Ann personally...she seems like a quiet, gentle spirited woman...one who works hard, feels deeply and strives to do what is right. She has a calmness about her that is inspiring...whereas, I am one who dives headlong into the craziness of life...often looking back and wishing I could take it back and try again...I sometimes act first and think later...
Therefore, I love to watch her journey, but am struck by the reality that I must try to find this "peace" or in her words, this "eucharisteo" or thankfulness in my own life...I must find a way to apply it in a way that fits with the way that I am wired...
Principles are true though...they are solid and foundational...and if I can but grasp those, and then seek to apply them, I think I will have begun my "training", as she calls it.
There are times that her words stun me...not in a shocking, awful way, but in a way that shoots straight to the heart and makes you realize what you have missed...
"Do no not disdain the small. The whole of life--even the hard--is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole."
"Is the height of my joy dependent on the depths of my thanks?"
There are countless more quotes, but I can't do them justice in a simple blog post...I must encourage anyone else to read for themselves...I have long struggled with "giving up resentment for gratitude, gnawing anger for spilling joy, self-focus for God-communion" But, she has discovered a way to fully live-to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal...
it is possible!
