I started doing a new Bible study recently. I may have mentioned it before, The Esther series by Beth Moore. Now, I do not feel qualified to pontificate my own sermons on the things I've learned by any means...but I will say that I do believe God is using his history book to teach me some lessons.
This past week's study was something along the lines of it's hard living in a mean world, where live mean people...this includes myself at times too! It's funny how when I learn something and know I need to apply it, God gives me some "situation" in which to "practice".
Sometimes I find it incredibly overwhelming being a mom to 3 daughters...although they are young, it is a houseful of hormones and screechy voices and DRAMA...pretty much 24/7. There are times I feel bombarded by all the questions, whines, hurt feelings, giggles, etc. etc...but, I have realized many a time that I have pushed through in order to 'get the day done'. I have missed some pretty important opportunities...so, after the past week's study, realizing that my daughters live in this same world with me...I am trying to slow down and find those teachable moments...this one happened yesterday and I hope you'll forgive me for not being specific...even at 7, she's more "private" than I am, and so I just want to honor that...
Basically I heard her talking/playing with her sister and then on the phone with a cousin...I kept hearing this same "tone"...all I can say is that it felt like she was not only "defending" herself, but trying to "prove" something...I had the opportunity to sit her down on the steps and share with her how Mommy struggles with not feeling as pretty as someone else sometimes, and sometimes I feel like I may not be good enough at making dinners like a neighbor, etc etc...but that Daddy always reminds me that God loves me and made me just the way I am...I don't have to prove to someone else that I am good enough...the long and short of it, is that she had tears in her eyes when she realized that not only Mommy struggles too, but that the pressure can really come off to try to "be" like someone else in order to be accepted.
I think those of us that are prone to people-pleasing, really struggle with those issues and the sooner we can grasp that God made us for specific purpose and LOVES the way he made us, we may be able to be sincerely encouraging to others instead of degrading ourselves because we don't think we measure up to them.
All 3 of my girls struggle and excel in different areas...but I love how the 3 of them LOVE each other too...on the way home from a little first grade play we went to tonight (to see and encourage our neighborhood friends)...they were all in the back giggling like nothing else...E turns and looks at her older sister and says, " You and C___ are the bestest sisters I could ever have!"
Oh Lord...may it always be so!!! While living in a sometimes mean world...may they have each other to lean on...to have one small haven.
