Love is more than a choice

He won't like this...

Not because he doesn't enjoy words...for he chooses them carefully.

Rather, he doesn't want the spotlight...almost polar opposite he is from his wife...

He is reserved, quiet, watchful as I tend to run headlong into the craziness and/or create it myself!

It isn't as I planned...and yet, I wouldn't change that decision if I could go back...

My PLAN was to find my future mate while on a singing team in college...we would marry, he would play guitar and I would sing and I suppose we'd make millions off of our love...

OH MY!

My plan started to unravel the moment I stepped onto the college campus, because you can hardly find the vocalist love of your life when you are placed on a puppet team instead of the traveling singers group!

I tried hard though...I fell fast for the leader of my team and tried to revamp my "vision"...could we still make millions if he did puppets and I sang behind the stage for the voice overs???? I should have realized then, that something might be amiss...but, I so wanted things to go along a certain pathway...

Enter a high school senior...

One guy amidst a sea of children at a Bible club...laughing, praying, teaching...just being...sacrificing his time...

I thought he was cute and that I could "mother" him as he came onto the college scene that following fall...ME, being the OLDER WOMAN...

Thus began phone calls, the lunch meetings, the saved seats, the gumball runs, the becoming my best friend.

It wasn't in my plan and therefore, I wasn't aware of what was happening...but, I was being challenged, loved, accepted and morphing into the person that I was meant to be...

He did this for me...It's what happens when someone chooses not just to love you, but to accept you, see the best in you, put your needs before his own...

Through my idiosyncricies, through my past, through my present...he hung on...

Rather, HE held ME through it...

I am reminded of the times that I beat on his chest and pushed him away from me...angry with the world, angry with my then-present situations, angry with my God...

I remember giving him every reason to give up on me...to run the other way...to find a better match...a more suitable helpmate for him...

But, he chose me...I wasn't something to be fixed in his eyes...I was someone to love...

I am forever in awe of who God allowed me to marry...

We are not perfect...but we are a perfect match.  He often sees in me things I can't see myself...both good and bad...He helps me chip away the bad and cheers me on with the good...

I celebrate today not only his choice, but his sacrifice, his friendship, his "I'm sorry"s, his thinking of me (and my starbucks) before his need to just get out of the workclothes...and just so much more...

As I said...

He probably won't like this...a post about HIM...

but, he knows my need to express...to sometimes let out every thought that passes in my head...and he loves me regardless...and though it may not be his preference, he encourages and spurs me on...

Happy Valentine's Day my Love!

I am My Father's Daughter

While washing my face yesterday morning, my dear Little Munchkin expressed to me a similarity that she had noticed...

"Mommy, you look JUST like Grandpa"

Now, this comment can be taken in a number of ways...I've always known that I tend to resemble my paternal side of the family and the fact that my youngest has the recollection and thoughtfulness to notice is to be commended...

On the other hand, I believe she was referring to the large wrinkles that have taken up residence on my forehead...

"Oh," I replied, "Do I look a little bit like him sweety?"

She then said, "Ooooo and you have a moustache too!"

And there you have it folks...out of the mouth of babes...

If you will excuse me, apparantly I need to make an appointment with a beautician who specialilzes in waxing and anti-aging remedies!!

have a good day!

Clap, Clap, Stomp...oh forget it!

Never before have I been SO struck with the reality that I have absolutely no rhythm or coordination than I was the other night as I participated in a Hip Hop class with my "Peep". 

As I watched the dreadlocked instructor "whip his hair back and forth" and shimmy his bootie in all directions across the floor, I was dumbfounded as to how to respond. 

"Wait, can you go back to that one step forward?"
"Why are your arms flailing off to that side?"
" Hold on a sec, you want me to clap where?"
"Freestyle?  FREE STYLE?  That would insist that you believe I actually HAVE a style?"
"Are you seriously jiggling? I don't WANT to jiggle, THAT's why I'm exercising in the first place!"

I laughed hard, made fun of myself muchly and hopefully burned a few calories...

At least I hope so, because after running as much as I have this past month, compounded with my jumping around in p90x and now that hip hop class...my stress fracture seems to have weakened a bit from last year...not sure where that leaves me now, but I took yesterday off completely...

Thanks Anne for asking me along...I had a fun time and though it may not be my thing, I enjoyed hanging out for the evening making fools of ourselves:)

Savor the Moments

Yesterday it was fairly "warm" outside...now that is comparitively speaking, as there was still a ton of snow on the ground, the wind was blowing and the precipiation was still falling in forms of small white flakes around us...

However, 34 degrees definitely beats the regular temp of 17, and so my girls took advantage of the opportunity when they returned home from school. 

It hit me at this point, that my "on my way to 40" body doesn't necessarily CRAVE the outdoor  fun like it used to.  I can remember jumping at opportunities to play in the snow with Sweetpea when she as a toddler.  When Peanut came around, it was even more fun...I loved making igloos and snow angels...

Add a few years onto that, more housework and things to unclutter, and my unquenchable desire to start projects in my home...and my outside activity level drops drastically. 

And yet, I knew I would regret it if I didn't make the most of the opportunities there...

So, I bundled up all the girls, got dinner all chopped and ready to cook when we came back in...and we stomped out into the snow...

We had quite a time with that snowman...the snow was icy, wet and HEAVY!  We ended up using  lessons learned from my experience in Redneck Snowman building 101  hauled over the picnic table

bench to create a makeshift plank onto which we rolled the snowball...then all the girls jumped on the high end of the bench like a teeter totter and we hoisted the Muffin Middle of that snowman up onto the bottom.

It was my lesson in science for the day to say the least.

Little Munchkin thought it would be fun to then pelt mommy with snow...

and then the other girls got to making some snowballs for themselves...

realizing that my efforts may NOT have been that appreciated as they were about to slam their mother with snow, I took the opportunity to get out of there FAST!

But, I couldn't resist one more picture, with our creation in the background...I love the story it tells:)

Enjoy your day and stay warm! I'm heading for my coffee right now...just looking at that white stuff makes me chilly!

Restless February

I've come to realize something...

February is my PROJECT month...It has been for awhile now...

Take a peek back at 2009 here with my Narnia craze...and here where I went into "oh my goodness, how many things can I cram into this week???"

Or, let's look back at 2010 here where I got a little hyped up on Valentine's Day...ended up turning those pictures into wall art for my home...

Which now brings us to 2011...and once again, it's February and it's like I get this cabin fever and my fingers get itchy for something crafty to do! 

I think I have some entrepreneural blood in me, directly inherited from my father, that has in me to come up with ideas for things...my problem has always been following through...whether it be lack of confidence or just not the right opportune time...or, it just plain busts...but, the photography thing has stuck.

Now, I wouldn't cast myself into the realm of ubber-professional photographers...I would dub myself someone who cares deeply, researches and practices the craft, but keeps the "business" in line with other priorities so that it really comes in about 3/4 of the way down the list.  This is not because it's not a passion or a fun thing to pursue...quite the contrary...it is actually something I enjoy...immensely...but, I also have a preschooler at home still and girls that like to play Monopoly in the evenings and a husband who works his tail off and deserves some quality family time...and my personality is one in which I go FULL FORCE if I'm not careful...and so I have to be careful...

Why am I telling you all this...good grief, get to the point already...

Yes, well...so photography comes in waves...fall is CRAZY and then  *crickets* in the winter months...and I have this TIME...and it usually comes around February...and so, more ideas have bombarded my brain once again and I'm powerless to ignore them...

I've had a few moms ask me lately how to USE their camera and these photoshop programs that they've purchased and the "teacher" in me is screaming, 'LET ME TEACH YOU!"  So, I've been conjuring up this plan to develop a workshop for people seeking to figure out their camera and how to get those images to pop in their computer program...

But, with me...(and I can say this on my "family" blog, not the CTPhoto one:) I get all "oh my goodness, who wants to learn from me...I have to offer something besides just me b/c I mean, what a let down right?"

I don't say this for you to pity me...I'm just giving you a peek into what goes on in this crazy head of mine...

Therefore, I have spent the past 2 days choosing colors and fabrics and watching online tutorials to sew camera straps...Each attendee to my workshop will receive a handmade one of these:

I had such a blast at Joanns today choosing pretty fabrics for these reversible things...they are so much fun...and I gotta tell ya, a few of the straps will have those cute little fabric flowers on them, because OMgoodness they were so fun to make!

In between the sewing and the brainstorming and coming up with a lesson plan of sorts, I have recently discovered the world of the LOOM!

I whipped up about 6 inches of new "scarf" during the Super Bowl...I know, pathetic...but, Peanut was working on her knitted baby cap for her pregnant teacher, Little Munchkin was going to the potty every 10 minutes and Sweetpea was working on knitting her tube scarf...there might have been a bit too much estrogen for my darling Italian Stallion...he had to go out and get himself some wings and head upstairs for just awhile:) 

So, that's what's goin' on here...I'm hoping for a good turn out with the photography/photoshop class...if all goes well, I can plan one a month and what fun would that be?  I'd get to do something I LOVE combined with something else I love & am trained to do...Teaching Photography..who woulda thunk it???

have a great day!

MOMENTS

I have these seven simple letters hanging on my wall in my "home office".

I decided on that word because it signified what I wanted to remember in my LIFE.  Our pastor once brought to my attention a verse in the Bible about numbering out days, and making them count...in other words, to savor the moments...it's all we have...and they are fleeting...

My youngest is now out of diapers (well, except at nighttime...didn't want to rush it:) and I think, when did I blink and she grew up?  How many times did I just grumble through the soiled panties and miss the singing on the toilet?  How many times did not savor the kiss on the cheek because I had to get dinner ready, so, "sweetie, good job, go get your gummy bear for going potty!"

How many times, do I rush through my day and forget to see the ways that my Heavenly Father loves me...

I stumbled upon this video, and being a photographer, a mom and a lover of Jesus...well, I was just blown away...And then, I went to the website and read the first chapter of the book...and I was entranced...this woman, this author lost her little sister and the heart-wrenching, soul-hurting way she is able to construct words to bring about the moment and the emotion...

she gets it...

and I ordered the book...

I won't get it for awhile, and I know nothing about it other than that first chapter and that beautiful video...but, to be reminded that moments are holy and ordinary and to learn to stop and recognize the ways He loves me too...I am thirsty for it!

It made me remember to savor the fact that my girls and I listened to all the Clementine books during the snow days and power outage...as we hooked up to the generator and sat bundled in the kitchen or around the vents when they finally started wafting heat...

Moments are holy and ordinary!

Lord, let me never forget!

Hello? Electricity...are you coming back?

Well..according to AEP, we should have power restored sometime before SPRING!  UGH...

We've been without electricity (and hot water for that matter) since midnight on Monday.  It's been a few days to say the least.  But, before i start complaining about the cold and the bit a of stink that can accumulate after keeping kids bundled and cuddled close for days on end...I want to be sure to share the things I am thankful for...it's amazing how putting scripture to memory (and heart) can force you to see things in a different light IF, if and only IF, you choose to direct your thoughts that way...

Things I am thankful for:
1. Neighbors who know how to jimmy-rig a generator to a furnace.  The amount of electrical tape and raw wires sticking out in our basement is a "bit" scary to look at, I must admit...but when that heat came blasting through the vents after the house bottomed out at 57 degrees AND after 4 hours of TRYING to get it working...oh, the JOY...My behind has never been more thankful than when each of us girls chose a different vent and SAT there  until the house reach about 63:)  I am happy to report that when the generator is whoopin' it up, we keep the house at a roaring 70 degrees:)

2.Sunshine to melt the ice.  Although it is not completely gone...this fact known b/c Peanut slipped at fell in our driveway on the way to the bus stop this morning...it is melting.  And because of this, we do not have ice damns on our roof causing water to seep into the drywall...and for THIS I AM THANKFUL!

3. Our sump pump works...it makes weird noises, YES...but it works and THAT, my friends, is what counts.  My "treasures" in boxes are safe for the time being...and being the "treasure saver" that I am, my heart is glad.

4. An incredible husband who works tirelessly to keep our family safe, warm and fully stocked on peanut M-n-Ms, Starbucks and Narnia movies!

5. The fact that even though we hadn't showered since Monday...nor used any hot water...by some miracle, the water in the tank stayed warm enough so that this morning ALL FIVE OF US got showers...this all took place in the matter of about 15 minutes, but CLEAN WE ARE! I've never scrubbed heads and little bodies as fast as I did this morning, but I'm happy to report that we smell of pomegranate and soap...and it is a good thing!

6. A gas stove top...on which we can make yummy pancakes, scrambled eggs, warm up chocolate milk and boil water so we can wash our faces...even admist a power outage!

There are many things more, but I've been gone from the house for over an hour now here at the library and I've got to get home as the temperature drops about 10 degrees in a matter of 3 hours...so I need to head back (after a quick stop to Panera for lunch...just cuz:)

Happy Winter folks..I'll be back to regular updating once we get some power and internet access at our house...