With our wedding anniversary just around the corner (or 2 days away if you want to get specific) I thought it quite applicable that our church is doing a multiple week talk/series on marriage.
they like to run commercials like these:
Basically, the premise is that there are marriage monsters..."termites" that will destroy a marriage. Each week they touch on a different aspect of marriage...it's been enlightening, to say the least.
This week, the title was "The Busy Termite"...last week, it was about Culture.
I think the thing that strikes me and has been slowly developing into my mind over the past months is this whole idea of the "slow fade"...it's the quiet justification of things here and there that don't seem all that "bad", but as Pastor Aaron pointed out: "You start stacking on a bunch of good things to accomplish in a day and the day becomes evil" (Ephs 5:15) I love that our church is pulling this thought into the realm of marriage because it's been in my heart with regards to parenting...and I"m now coming to the understanding that it really engulfs all aspects of our lives.
He had a really neat example today that really got me thinking when it comes to truth. You know those picture in picture things on the television? Not closed captioning, but where you can see a tiny picture in the corner and then the bigger picture on the whole screen? He likened our world to the big screen...hyped up, HD color, sending messages like "live life to be happy", "get what you want now and get more", "life is all about you"...and then in this tiny little window there is another message being sent. It's not invisible, it's not hidden...truth is there, you just have to tune into it...it's a smaller voice, perhaps a smaller window.
And yet, how often do we just follow after what culture deems "awesome" or "our right" or "you make your own truth"
He talked about being soul-mates...not roommates or even in-mates...
He pointed out some questions for us to ponder such as...IF you are doing and living however it is you are doing and living...to what end? What are we gaining by our relentless pursuit of more (i.e. BUSY-ness: activities, money, things)?
He offered solutions such as giving up your rights, evaluation of activity, saying no and practicing a sabbath...
I gotta tell you...in today's society...how much it has slowly evolved and changed from the 1920's, 1950's, even from the 1990's...how much more is "acceptable" today...by setting out to just achieve more, putting money/activity/popularity/prestige/work/sports/social media in front of relationships to which we pledged our commitment...what are we doing not only to ourselves, but to our children?
He pointed out that if we just continue to say yes to every activity and toy and whim that our children desire, we are setting them up for failure...failure in future relationships specifically...because they learn at a young age that "life is all about ME and reaching MY personal goals"...it teaches them that it matters not that you and everyone you come in contact with is running around like a chicken with their head cut off...so BUSY with stuff that there is no time to connect...to what end? to what glory?
I have friends and family that we rarely see anymore...mostly because they are just too busy...they've got one thing after another. I can understand "seasons" of busyness...IS gets those in work, with travel...but there is an end. I haven't seen an end for some of my family/friends...it's always the next best thing and then off again onto something else...I am not trying to sound judgmental, I just miss them...
Now, I don't believe Pastor Aaron was squashing goal setting or determination...I don't believe he was saying that trying to do your best was wrong...however, I do believe he was trying to say (and I think I'm coming to agree with him) that even GOOD things can become BAD things...
If we can't begin to detach ourselves from the compulsions of society, then we ARE like a herd...just "following the next butt in front of us"...
I asked Italian Stallion if the termite of busyness was evident in our marriage...I'm a stay at home mom and our children haven't hit Jr. High yet...so I know that that struggle will get worse as we go along. But, we agreed, even though we have said no to many sports opportunities and classes and such for our kids...and even though we tend to guard our family time not just at the dinner table, but on weekends when Daddy is not working...and even though we chose to live where we live so that our girls could spend lots of time playing with each other and us, developing those relationships...we still need to keep our guard up against too much time spent on electronic devices (watching TV, ipads, video games) And that's just one practical way to hedge our marriage/family.
I can't tell you how thankful I am for a husband who is in tune to things like this...who isn't afraid to admit when he is wrong (although he might be apt to tell you that it's VERY RARE:)...who is on guard and has a much better perspective on life and how God calls us to live it than I do ...We're coming up on 13 years of marriage and nearly 20 years of being friends...I'm thankful that we're on this journey together...
If you want the message from today, I'm sure you can find it on the church's website: GRACE POINT
