Learning

I"m in a new Bible study...remember my post from here?

Yes, well...I'm learning quite a few things...which is REALLY awesome...and I promise to share some of those things very soon...

but, another thing that has been going on in my heart is the whole "passing blessings onto the next generation"...specifically...my girlies!

I've been wanting to "give" my girls special verses...now, please understand that I'm not creating verses out of thin air or anything...I just wanted to point them to specific places in the Bible (of which I know more than them right now) that stand out when I read them...and they stand out b/c it makes me think of them...of their personalities or their love languages...

Anyway, my plan is to continue to read and compile a short list for each of them...not that I have all the answers or that my picks are best...I KNOW that God is going to direct them to certain passages one day that they will claim for themselves...but until then...here are a few that make me picture their sweet faces when I read them:

SWEETPEA:  Psalm 139
I prayed this psalm all the time while pregnant with her...it was probably all the talk about "wombs" and such...but I also see words like, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made"...My Sweetpea gets fearful at times..."even the darkness will not be dark to you" it says..."You searched me and know me"...My firstborn desires to be known and loved...she has "anxious thoughts" (as does her mother)...I just love this whole passage...and so, at the top of her list is this psalm.

PEANUT: Zeph 3:17
This one stands out to me for Peanut b/c Jesus "rejoices over her with singing"...and my little girl is a music kid...she loves it...it gets inside of her...and I want her to always know that she is delighted in...she is rejoiced over...her anxiety comes in quietness and silent tears...she's more internal/introverted...and I love that it says that "he will quiet you with his love"

LITTLE MUNCHKIN:  Hab. 3:18-19
Little Munch is my stick of dynamite...I LOVE her enthusiasm, her determination and even her stubborness at times...although the parenting or lack thereof sometimes makes those things a hinderance...but I love how these verses talk about being joyful...she's always smiling and laughing and giggling...and then it says that he will "make my feet like the feet of a deer...he enables me to go on the heights"...I see such great things for Little Munchkin...that doesn't mean that she must be a famous actress, or lawyer or be in the gifted program at school...I just see her living life to the fullest wherever she is...and I LOVE her for it!

So anyway...those are just my thoughts and the beginnings of my list so far...just wanted to share it...I'm sure I'll be back to crazy Italian household antics here very soon...havea  great weekend!

Where did the week go?

I'm not complaining...

I like it when weeks go fast b/c that means Italian Stallion has the weekend off and we all just hang out together for 2 whole days...but goodness sakes, I feel like it's been a bit of a whirlwind...

My sister in law was in town from Tenn. with her family...which brings a whole new dimension to "cousin time" around here...Stick 9 children ages 1-10 in a room and let them loose...it's crazy chaos...and mostly we just let Nana handle it...I"m SUCH the good daugther in law!

We had huge saved up birthday celebrations, all day zoo trips, princess playdates...I'm exhausted...I mean, there comes a point when you just gotta lay off the fountain drinks and watching the grandparents running after children...

Anyway...it leads me to this weekend in which my kiddos are having Camp Gramma & Papa...it's not their first time without us...but as Peanut put it, "Mommy, we're in a whole 'nother STATE!!!...WITHOUT YOU..."  Sweetpea, my ever present firstborn implored me to write out all the phone numbers of every person that she could possibly need to contact if an emergency arose...I'm not quite sure what she was nervous about, but somehow spending time on my cell phone made her feel much more confident as well.

As I dropped the girls off with my mom, Peanut started to cry...which isn't necessarily unusual (the tears I mean) but the passion with which she was sobbing was quite alot to take...to which my 3 year old replied, "See Mommy, I not cry...I FIIIIIINE"  (which only made Peanut cry harder)

And now I sit here and I'm waiting for a call from my mom this morning b/c Little Munchkin got a fever last night and all nightmares of last March's episode with scarlet fever and pneumonia have plagued me through the night...I'm heading out this afternoon for Florida to shoot a wedding,...solo....I'm not going to say much more on that b/c I may get the shakes and start stuffing all manner of chocolate into my mouth to calm my nerves...so let's just leave it at that.  It just means that my weekend with my family is cut a little short...

I am making it up to them by signing them up for swim lessons next week...woohoo...I see pool memberships in the future...perhaps even as close as next summer...wouldn't THAT be fun? 

So...at the risk of getting too theological or philisophical...I need to say that Prayer has always been a mystery to me...Jesus taught us how to pray...He commands us to pray...I've been taught that prayer changes things...and I also know that faith is believing, even when everything else appears to say the opposite...

and that's what I feel about prayer...I've prayed for specific things...GOOD things...but, there isn't a a set formula or anything by which I can gauge...sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes it's no...and to be honest, the answer NO has been on some major things and that has made me a little gun shy to even ask much anymore.  So, I'm now just going to say that if any of you have a better grasp on this particular area in your walk with Jesus...will you, if you think of it, pray for my baby that she would heal quickly...that I and my girlies would return home safely this weekend...that emergencies would be non-existent and that I would trust that He has things all safely guarded and protected?

Thanks Muchly...
I'll talk with you soon...

Eleven Years Ago Today...

I married my best friend.

I never could have imagined my life as it is now...it wasn't what I expected...but, it's more than I ever hoped for...

I"m not saying that things are always perfect...I think you all know me well enough to know that I've got to be REAL...we do have our ups and downs...our disagreements that sometimes turn into big ole arguments and sometimes I'd rather just...just...shove cake up his nose!

But, the amazing thing is that God put us together and we fit...just right! 

I think back to the first time I saw him...me as a big college freshman and he, a little high school senior...

"what a sweet boy!" I thought. "I'll help him around campus when he gets here...he may need a friend."

The fact of the matter, was that I ended up depending on him more than I ever thought possible...

Do you know our story?

I'll give you the quick version...which translates into about 10 minute read, but I think you probably understand me by now...so hang in there!

Being the big "puppet" people that we are were...I got to train his team during my Junior year in college.  He was the captain of the summer traveling team, and I was heading to Australia.  He and I had to schedule practices, go over the line ups, make sure practice rooms were ready...in turn, he helped to train my Australia team...needless to say, we spent a lot of time together...

All the while, I was dating a guy who actually lived with Italian Stallion's parents while doing a pastoral internship...interesting set up to say the least.  I kept trying to set him up with my girlfriends, to which he'd politely turn down.  And we continued to get closer...becoming the best of friends...I could rely on him for anything...which I didn't realize I'd be doing very soon...

Upon returning from Australia, I learned that my younger sister was ill...she only lived one month to the day I returned to the states...My beloved now-husband came to my family...he played with my youngest sister, hung out with my brother, mowed the lawn, cooked meals, carted us back and forth from the hospital...and when I called him to tell him that Sarah was gone...he drove to me, from 9 hours away at his own family reunion to help us with funeral arrangements and just helping my family survive...He was just 19 years old at the time. 

My heart became attached, I just didn't know it at the time...

I had since broken up with said boyfriend, my relationships with everyone were frayed and raw, and he hung in there...

He loved me through all the yuck that followed with my crazy emotions of loss and confusion

He loved me when I moved away from everything that was familiar to take a job in another state to get away from it all

He loved me through all my worries and anxiousness about marriage and if I could be a good wife

He saw more in me than I saw in myself

He isn't perfect, but he's perfect for me!

Seriously, it's GOT to be love to marry someone who poses like THIS on their wedding day...

(thought I'd throw that in there for a good laugh...enjoy)

And so...today, I am remembering seeing him for the first time before I walked down the aisle to become his wife...today, I am thankful for the life God gave us together...

I love him for his generous spirit, his forgiveness, his loyalty, his decisiveness, his patience, his determination, his stability, his dependence on God for this family, his love...

I love you sweetheart!

Happy Anniversary!

You know it's bad when...

_______________.

I can't tell you how many different ways I can fill in that blank.  For example...

"You know it's bad when...
 ***Little munchkin doesn't wake up from her nap until 6pm and here we are at 11pm still waiting for her to stop singing!
***I can't fathom drinking another frappaccino in the next couple days b/c my body has a caffeine overload.
***my clinical strength antiperspirant can't deal with the heat index and  you can wring out my tee shirts.

My biggest one now, however, is...
You know it's bad when you are continually having conversations with yourself...in your head...in front of the mirror...driving in the car...to the point where your children ask, "mommy are you talking to yourself again?"

My situation is that I need a replacement.

A Thought Replacement...

I've slowly been coming to a realization concerning certain things in my life...being that I'm a "fair minded" person...meaning, I like things FAIR...being that I'm a right or wrong person and if I'm right, I want the world to know it and agree with me sort of person...well, when reality sinks in and it is evident that that is NOT how life works, it can be rather a downer for me. 

I have a couple of choices when circumstances arise that irritate me...when relationships are so annoying that all I want to do is scream from the mountain tops how wrong they are...when I'm doing everything right it appears and STILL I can't get ahead...

I can replace my hurt and my anger with truth and try to continue along in my journey called life OR I can wallow in my sorrow and "fairness" until the cows come home...being that we don't own any cows...they never come home...and so I end up wallowing for a longggggggg time...

I"m in the middle of the longggggg time right now...and I haven't had the tools...let me rephrase that...I haven't made TIME to UTILIZE the tools that I HAVE BEEN GIVEN to replace my wallowing thoughts with thoughts of truth...I've long been believing the lies and relishing in them...I've had many a conversation with my mirror aka "the pretend person(s) that I'd love to set straight"...

And, I've got to admit to you...I'm exhausted...as I said before...I'm coming to some realizations here of late...one of those is that sometimes, circumstances just don't change...and sometimes, PEOPLE just don't change and they will continue their way of thinking regardless of how wrong they may or may not be...

So, where does that leave me...

well...to put it bluntly...the mirror ain't talkin' back and I'm just not getting anywhere...and so I've come to the conclusion that it's ME that has to change if I'm going to make any headway...

does it mean that I give up and surrender...they win...I lose?  NO WAY!

It just means that I'm not to going to give away my precious time to think of countless ways that I could MAKE THEM LEARN and set them straight!  In the words of my husband..."let it go"

I don't "let go" very well (remember the discussion about my basement?)...so in order to move forward, I have to replace certain thinking patterns with other patterns of thinking, or attitudes...

I'm currently beginning 2 different studies...one is on attitude (glory be) and the other has to do with Moving Up (cue the Jefferson's theme song)  I'm sure that I will crash and burn a couple times along the way...but, I'm praying and hoping that God will just cue me to hand over, aka let go, of certain things and replace them with the confidence of what HE says is true...and leave the "revenge" and "teaching them a lesson" part to Him. 

I'll let you know how it goes...however, if you are my friend in real life and you see me driving along in my super cool mini van...and my mouth is moving and I appear to be having a ranting session with my rear view mirror...please send up a quick prayer for yours truly:)

I wanna be a cool pool mom...

It's my goal in life really...

You know...that mom that looks like she couldn't have had 5 children...who sits on the edge of the pool all tan in her little bikini...her children laugh endlessly without a care in the world...they are all perfect swimmers, so no need to worry...all the while pool boys come and wipe her brow....

WHAT?  they don't exist?  well, I'm thinkin' that there are some who THINK they exist and are trying to fit the mold...but, honey, I'm not even comin' close...

THAT was evident yesterday and I piled all three of my little monsters into the car and listened to the sweet noise of  "MOOOOOOOOOOM...she took it from me...Mom, will you tell her to stop breathing, it's bothering me??....Why does SHE get to ride up there, she got to last time and it's my turn this time...when can I RIDE UP THERE?" ahhhhhhh the togetherness!!!

After obtaining a hefty headache and pondering at least 15 times "why in the world am I taking them to the pool?"...we arrived at our destination, where...when I opened the door and the waft of heat that met me nearly knocked me off my feet...at this point, I grabbed all said "young'uns" and headed ran for the water...

It was interesting to people watch...well, that and try to keep my 2 eyes on my 3 girls...all in different pools...all begging to do the slide and the diving board and swim without a life jacket and Little Munchkin screaming, "watch me mommy watch me!!" every other second...

I wish I could tell you that it was a relaxing time had by all...but pretty much I was just picking up the mob and moving it to the water...it was a day...and it's over now...burned back and all...I will postpone my next pool trip for three years  another day...although Little Munchkin fell asleep pretty quickly once we were on our way home again...the other two have an intense fascination with my old phone...which only works for 911 calls...and I'm pretty sure they'll get antsy and want to try it...

Maybe they can tell the person on the other line that their cool pool mom is drowning and the sweet pool boys will come to my rescue...

Not!

Can you Hear me now???

By golly I hope so...

I've never been one too up on the new technology...I swore I didn't really need a cell phone and it wasn't until I got married that my husband got one for me b/c I had a long commute to work each day...and with my track record of blowing a tire, getting lost, running out gas, getting lost, forgetting how to put gas in the car, getting lost...did I mention getting lost?  Anyhoo...he thought it best that I get one...

I got the cheapest one available and I loved it...that big, huge, honkin' thing worked fine for me...I didn't need any special wingdings and gadgets...give me that brick and speed dial my man's number into it and I"m ready to go!

On the flip side, my darling Italian Stallion has a thing for new technology...he's not overly crazy...no he doesn't have an iphone and we still have the OLD...O.L.D. box monitor on this lovely computer...but, he's a sucker for a wide screen TV and likes to research all the new paraphenalia...

He tried to upgrade my phone a long while back and I held out for a longggg time...I didn't want to switch to those "Evil" flip phones...but, I succombed once everyone in my family went to Verizon and Sprint just wasn't cuttin' the budget anymore...

Fast forward another 5 years...well, after one too many times down the garbage disposal and a few too many throws out the car window by my babies...my dear little flip phone was just on it's last leg...and my heart couldn't handle the only one hour battery last before I lost all power...

It was time for a new phone...and I gotta tell you...I wanted...REALLY wanted the iphone...again, ATT is not Verizon, so I would have REALLY settled for a droid...really, I would have...it'd be fun...to have the internet at my fingertips ANY TIME OF DAY!!!

at the zoo:  no problem, let's check facebook
at the pool: let's see if we've got any more emails comin' in
wandering out back at the garden: hey, let's check the weather today

FUN...I tell you...F.U.N. 

and then I remembered that I have 3 little girls that want  need my attention much more than my computer screen...and since I have a few OCD tendancies... I got this instead:

I am by NO MEANS complaining...

I mean, come on...I got me a hot pink phone people!!!  my girls are ECSTATIC!!!

Same plan, just added some texting and I got myself a full keyboard..WOOHOO!

I should confess and tell you that husband still has a hankerin' for new tech stuff and has promised me the itouch for all my pictures...it's basically the iphone without the phone and that added $35 a month data plan package...I just want the touch screen and a place to look at all my pictures...all the time...cuz, that's not ocd or anything right?

FINALLY...a break!

I apologize once again...it appears I've gone nearly a week without a post...kinda defeats the purpose of "living out loud" if you only hear crickets on this end...

Things HAVE been a bit busy here...and by busy I mean to say that we've had 3 straight nights of putting the girlies to bed AFTER 11pm...closer to midnight actually...we've had our fill of bug spray, glow sticks, loud fireworks, and mountain pies in the firepit! 

It has been wonderful to spend time with so many friends...I"m an extrovert, so I've been ENERGIZED...but, unlike the energizer bunny, my battery has finally run low...and so, for today (the 5th of July) we've stayed in...on the homefront...staying in pjs until noon...and just hanging out with noone else outside our little family...

After the children slept in until after 9am...even Little Munchkin...we headed out to the garden for some FUN pickin'...I've shared a bunch of these on facebook already...so if you're not friends with me over there, please send me a message and I'll get right on that...sometimes it's easier to shoot a little "status update" rather than write out a blog post...

So...here are some pics of our time this morning...

We love the treasure hunting! I'm always amazed at how many potatoes come out of one plant...

We got a bunch o' potatoes...

We pulled up our garlic too...they orginally hung in the garage, but it stunk us right out, so we switched to drying in the trees...

We planted lots of onions this year..we just gotta get those tomatoes ripe and we'll be havin' some sauce making time!

This is everything from today...

Hope you all enjoyed your 4th!  We're looking forward to some pool time this week...and probably a lot of potato salad!