One Word: SEE

Every new year people make resolutions...

I am not exempt...

there are a gazillion things that I wish I could RESOLVE to do...

I want to blog more, exercise, lose weight, eat right, spend more time in the flower bed, keep my house clean, keep up with laundry, read more professional books, practice more photography...

Nearly everything that I've ever "resolved" to do has involved ACTING on something...

And to be completely honest...I get burned out...

I've always been a person who has had to "do more"..."be the best"...I've always expected more out of myself than what I probably should have...

Don't get me wrong...I don't think it's wrong to try...to strive to be good at something...

The trouble is, at least for me, that in my striving, in my climbing to the top...I often forget WHO I am along the way...I know that sounds cliche', but let me explain...

I've always DONE and ACTED out of different motivations...I have called it "challenging myself" or "setting expectations" or "people pleasing" or "a competitive nature"...  It's this intrisic desire to "check it off"...to proclaim to the world that I've accomplished something...it started in elementary school and continued until about mid way through my freshman year in college when I finally burnt out...although it still comes back in spurts...it usually happens when I "feel" like I"m not MORE...(more of what, I don't know...but it's usually when I don't feel content with myself or things around me)

Again, I'm not saying that I don't think it's good to try...(I practice continually with photography and I've recently started exercising again)...It's when "motivations" take hold of me...take ALL my focus and energy...it's when those THINGS that are seemingly "good things" to IMPROVE me, start to overpower me...and my whole BEING feels compelled to accomplish the task...sometimes at the expense of time with family and even sleep...and my contentedness with myself & who I was made to be is then marred with the lack of a certain accomplishment or disappointment...

One of my BFFs directed me again to a different concept with regards to resolutions...I've heard of it before, but have never explored it...

until this year...

It's called ONE WORD...

You choose one word that you resolve to use during the year...it can be anything you choose..but, I'm assuming it should be something that, when you look at the word, it strikes an inner nerve and spurs you on to BE...

This "BEing" is what strikes me...I've always associated myself with what I have accomplished...and when I think about that picture, it's a lie...I'm NOT just the cullmination of whatever I have set my mind to conquer...

I was created in the image of a God that made me unique...purely for His pleasure...with a purpose that He set out for me...

All this to say...My ONE WORD for this year is SEE...

Jesus is always saying, "Come and See" ~John 1:39
We are called to "See the wonders..." ~Ps 66:5
I want to "See his face..." ~Ps. 17:5

As I'm navigating through this life...through the endless loads of laundry...through the photo sessions of beautiful people...through the homework at the kitchen table...through the preparing of meals and packing lunches...through the sweat & effort of exercise...

I want to SEE...

...my girls' hearts
...my husband's needs
...more of God
...how God sees me
...situations for what they are and not what I make them out to be in my head
...deeper to the soul of a person and not just the outside
...good, when bad is all around
...the personalities and relationships of the people I encounter
...beauty, when my mood tells me otherwise
...clearly and not through whatever "glasses" I've put on b/c of my past experiences

This is my New Year's Resolution...

My hope is that in my SEEing this year, my heart will draw closer to Him...that my vision will change and become closer to what He sees...and in turn, it will allow me to offer more grace not only to others, but to myself as well:)

Chicago Trip 2012

The first time I went to Chicago during the Christmas season was when we had just found out we were pregnant with little Munchkin...

To be honest, I couldn't really understand how I'd find much "joy" out of going to the Windy City in the middle of almost freezing temperatures to walk long distances and shop in stores where we weren't going to buy much because, duh, we were having another baby...all the while I was still throwing up every morning..

I couldn't have been more wrong...

It started out as a one time trip, to something that we have tried to continue every other year or so...and I have thoroughly enjoyed it every time!

We went one year with my brother and his family...that time my sister in law got to enjoy the pleasures of walking Michigan Ave whilst waddling along at 7 months pregnant with TWINS:) 

The last time we went was a huge American Girl experience...

Which brings us to this year...Italian Stallion decided that it was a good year to go and got us all psyched up for our 2012 adventure!  We got the girls out of school because we don't let school get in the way of a quality education (wink, wink)...We started on the road around 7am on Sunday and Daddy wanted to push through until lunchtime...

It should have struck me odd that we stopped at mcDonalds, because we never go there...but, after 5 hours straight in the car, I wasn't complaining and neither were the girls...we piled out, ordered some chicken nuggets & fries and stretched our legs.  Little did I know that Italian Stallion was strategically placing us in this particular restaurant...for no sooner had we ordered and sat down to inhale some fast food, than WHO should walk through the door???

HELLO...my BFF and her family...YIPPEE...

I had somewhat of a "blonde" moment when I said, "Oh my goodness, honey, look, they are having lunch at the same McDonalds as us in the middle of Indiana!!!"...Italian Stallion kinda looked at me for a minute...giving me the look of" "okay, now, let that process a minute...keep comin'..."  And then I realized, "Oh wait a minute...THEY are going to Chicago too...wait...they are coming WITH US to Chicago...!!!"

Needless to say, Sara and I were jumping around hugging and squealing to the point that the whole restaurant wanted to know what was with the crazy commotion with a couple of almost 40 year old women and their gaggle of girls???  ((I do want to point out here that regardless of our age, my dear friend was TOTALLY HIT ON while we were out to dinner that very evening out on the town...but, I"ll get to that later))

Apparantly my dear I.S. and G had been in cahoots for about 3 months planning this trip...I'm still not sure how they kept it a secret from Sara or myself...because really, she and I had been talking and texting quite a bit in the weeks leading up to Chicago...

But, pull it off they did...and I couldn't have been more excited!!!

Italian Stallion got us rooms side by side at the Residence Inn downtown Chicago...we were provided fantastic breakfasts and delicious dinners...and swimming on the top floor,(the 27th to be exact) proved to be, once again, a highlight of our experience! I would highly recommend this hotel if you are ever in town:)

We did the usuals...shopping along Michigan Ave., pizza at Giordanos, chocolately treats at Ghiradelli's, American Girl & LEGO stores, looking at the christmas windows of Macy's down by the river...

But, the highlight for me this year, was getting to see the "bean" at Millenium Park and then ICE SKATING with all my girls...

 

 

We also added a trip to John Hancock Observatory...

The girls were exhausted by the time we made daddy walk all the way back to the hotel to get our car while we stayed inside the Hershey store eating brownies so that we didn't have to be in the cold headed out of the city.

It was a wonderful Christmas surprise...so thankful that Italian Stallion knows me so well...knows that I so enjoying spending time with close friends...that he values relationships and making memories!  He totally got some brownie CAKE points this weekend!!!

I'll post more pictures on a facebook album for the fam:)  So head on over there to "hear" more of the story:)

Easy Reads

I think sometimes that the way that I cope with stress is to deny that it exists...

I just pretend that I have nothing better to do than to sit in a chair with a cup of tea and read a book. 

It's not that life is uber stressful by any means...I think I just have a lot going on in my mind...it doesn't seem to want to shut off...and then that grey matter starts having arguments with itself...and believe it or not, I often feel like "it" is arguing and I'm just sitting there listening to both sides...

It's "this" part of me that just sort of gives up, grabs a book and forgets...

There is a lot of emotion that has gathered in my brain about our decision to keep Little Munchkin home this year...couple that with the fact that we are, in fact, homeschooling her at the same time...coupled with the desire to spend lots of time with her during this last year of her being home and just ENJOYING being a 5 year old...

smoosh that together with loads of laundry, soccer games and practices, drama of a newly 5th grader...wonderings of whether I'm parenting correctly...or enough...if I'm challenging them enough, getting them involved in enough activities or dropping the ball...

throw on top of that, the desire for this new puppy to be a GREAT addition to our family...the desire to be the BEST trainer in the world (i.e a mini-cesar milan)

file into more drawers of the brain, the desire to do photography well, to grow a business in a way that still allows me to have my own schedule and hang with the girls at school without sacrificing time with them because of all the massive amounts of editing that photography procures...

and then you can add a pinch of guilt because I do have to spend time on the computer doing "said stuff" and that takes away from the kids, so then I think I should "buy" them something...and then my brain starts the arguing again, because who, in their right mind, tries to buy love and forgiveness???

Wow...hello insight into the crazy mind of this late night mamarazzi...

It comes down to my never satiated desire for validation/affirmation...I keep thinking that if I "hear' that I'm doing well, then I'll be okay...but it really doesn't matter how many people say good or bad things...I still struggle...

And now this leads me to wonder what in the world will the girls I have birthed become if their mother is a crazy-minded ninny who can't seem to stay in reality for a long enough time to get 3 loads of laundry finished in a day!!!

Oh well...

the latest book I have delved into to avoid my silly brain is this:

just another delightful read...the author was actually born in 1925..but she writes with a slight, more contemporary wit and humor...however, the storyline is still classic and sweet and just a sweet, quick read:)  I love those kinds best:)

 

That's it for now...I'm going to see if my brain will actually shut off for a few hours while I try to catch some zzzzz's...I've got a fun wedding to shoot on Saturday and I want to be at the top of my game:)

Update on Pippa

Well, it's been 2 weeks...

I have no real reference of "where" in the process we should be with regards to a puppy, having never HAD a puppy before...but, here's what's happening:)

She peed in her crate the first night she was here and has NOT done so since...I take her out to do her business around 11pm every night and we don't hear a peep from her until 7am.  Her crate is always clean in the morning and she stretches and gives kisses when I let her out in the morning.

We go for a morning walk (which has been a learning experience to say the least)  We FINALLY made it down to the end of the street without her laying down every 10 steps or so...or attacking her leash as if it were something to kill...or eating every rock, stick or leaf that happened across our path!  She does her business again and we come in for breakfast...she plays with the girls before school and then we take her out to the bus with us. 

When we come back in, she sits and falls asleep in Little Munchkin's lap while she watches a program and Mommy takes a break with a cup of tea:)

I then put her in her crate for some "quiet time" for about 1.5 to 2 hours...until it's time to head outside again to play, do some business and eat lunch...Little Munch and I play with her for about an hour...we use this time to work on "SIT" and "STAY"...adding to our vocabulary from "GO PEE" and "GO POOP" (which we use quite often)

Her "accidents" are now limited to the evening time and usually happen during dinner when I"m not watching her very much, but the girls are wanting to play...I should probably keep her in her crate, but I don't have the heart...she has figured out to pee on the hardwood floor instead of the carpet though, and for that I'm happy...at least for now...

Hopefully, we'll get this housebreaking thing down...SOON:)

Since she's part shepherd, we knew we'd have to deal with some of the "nipping" issues prone to that breed...I've got to admit that this is NOT a fun part...we've had plenty of tears already...but we're learning...Because she tends to put EVERYTHING in her mouth, I've had to literally pry her mouth open to extract rocks, etc...therefore, she gets a bit, shall I say, PERTURBED at me?  She then transfers that behavior into "play" and starts to growl when we tell her NO BITE...

Fortunately, our breeder had a great idea...we use a pop can, filled with rocks...we shake it LOUDLY whenever she starts to nip and that seems to stop her dead in her tracks...so much so, that at least with me, she won't try to bite me...infact, she'll open her mouth right up to my fingers, think twice and stop before I have to do anything...I hope this continues and that we can break her of it completely...

It's rather difficult for me to know whether what we're doing is right or normal puppy behavior...especially when we had the most PERFECT DOG in our dear sweet Bailey...noone compares to her...

I just want this puppy to learn how to obey and just love my girls unconditionally...I want her to just want to please and enjoy their attention...From what I've read, these sweet miniature aussiedoodles seem to be fantastic companion dogs...I just need to train her correctly...

That's about it on the update...for anyone that's interested:) She's a smart little thing and the girls are loving having her around...she hasn't been nearly as "awful" as the horror stories made puppies out to be...that's another thing for which I am grateful:)

I'll let you know how we're doing come Winter...

Mom mom mom mom Pippa pippa mom

My summer began with all 3 girls home...eager and excited to start with the vacations and trips to the pool...

We quickly fell in line with our many activities, often to the tune of:

Mom?  Mom?   Mom?  Mom?  Mom?

It was (and still is) the "music" that rings in my ears 24/7...and although I love being "needed"...and although I cry when I realize that they are slowly embarking on their adventure towards independence...

I MUST tell you that the constant barrage of MOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOM can be a little "taxing" if you know what I mean...

I thought perhaps with the approaching "first day of school" that the annoying sweet melody of my girls' voices would subside for a few hours a day...

but, I was wrong...though, 2 of the 3 are gone off to school (see pictures below)...my last little munchkin has voice enough for all of them...and now, adding to the delight of "MOM", we have added "Pippa  Pippa  Pippa  Pippa...Mom?  Pippa no, Pippa, Pippa, Pippaaaaaaaa"

Ahhh, the joys:)

It was a nice day though...Italian Stallion let me "off duty" for a bit to run some errands (this translated into stopping at the mall for a mini make over at my favorite make up store, buying FIVE dollar jeans at LOFT and slipping through the Starbucks drive through for a little "treat")

Here are the girls this morning...off to 5th and 3rd grade...5th grade was my favorite year of school and 3rd grade is my favorite grade to teach:)  woohoo

 

 

 

Little Munchkin had no problem watching the older two get on the bus this morning...nope, she had a date at the diner with her Daddy and Popi, so she was good to go:)

 

I'll keep you posted of how things go this week...

 

that is, if I haven't lost my sanity or can focus with the ringing of "pippa" in my ears:)

 

 

School is starting...

The first day of the 2012-2013 school year starts tomorrow.

Oddly enough, I'm not crying or moping around...I think I'm in a more pensive mood...or perhaps I've just been so wrapped up in fifteen million vacation memories (and pictures) and trying to make sure Pip doesn't poop on the floor, that I just haven't really let it sink in.

Sweetpea is entering 5th grade. 

I remember being in 5th grade...sweater vests were all the rage...along with monogrammed v-neck sweaters, feathered hair and scottie dogs...at least they were in my little po-dunk town:)

I remember reading Anne of Green Gables and writing in my diary...I played softball at church and played Barbies at recess with the girls...

Times have changed.

I've found myself having conversations with my eldest daughter that I don't remember having until I was at least in middle school...things are "coming down"...

Peanut is heading to 3rd grade...I think she's the one that has grown the most (not in size mind you...she inherited both of our mothers' genes and we'll be lucky if she hits 5 feet tall as an adult) but, she's becoming more and more aware of the world around her.  And for my deep thinking/feeling (yet not so verbal) girl, this has been a heavy load for her to figure out how to manage:)

Little Munchkin has a summer birthday and is 5 years old.  I STRUGGLED with this decision...still am struggling for that matter...but, Italian Stallion is pretty adamant about keeping her home another year...I'm 50/50 with this decision...As a Kindergartener, she's completely and utterly ready...with a mother as a teacher and two older sisters...good grief, she was academically ready at age 3 to go to school for heaven's sake.  Yet, watching our "almost" middle schooler tackle the fast pace of this world...he didn't want to make this a kindergarten decision...Really, it's probably not the best decision for a kindergartener...she'll be leaps and bounds ahead of others when she does go into school and we may even deal with some boredom...however, I.S. keeps reminding me that she'll be an entire year older when I send her on the bus to middle school, and high school and even college when she has to make the decisions that will affect the rest of her life...It has nothing to do with sports or trying to make her the head of her class...and I honestly think "work ethic" is something you gain not because of your circumstances, but because of the values being instilled in you at home...

I was the youngest in my class...graduated and then started college at age 17...I can't say that it was a bad thing...in my small town, I didn't even really notice I suppose...so, to be honest, we're just praying that we made the right call for her:)

we're making the most of it nonetheless...she and I have LOTS planned this year...lots of life experiences and FUN to explore:)

I'll let you know how it turns out...ya know, in about 12 years or so...

Sweetpea gets a locker for the first time this year...I made "instagram magnets" for her locker:)  She has her own little wipe off board and that crazy chandelier that I bought in a moment of weakness:) 

I'm glad she has something new to start the school year because we didn't get any new clothes or shoes or backpacks or lunchboxes...nothing...nada...

that's all for now...I have lots of editing and planning for soccer games and taking Pippa out to pee...OFTEN...I'm sure our days will continue to be full:)

Happy first day of school!

Meet Pippa

This is Pippa:)

She is our new puppy.

Yes, we got a dog.

No, I'm not going through "baby" withdrawal and therefore needed to somehow get a baby fix...although, perhaps, maybe that might have been a very small percentage of the reason why we felt it necessary at this time, as school begins, to wake up in the night to take a puppy out to pee and deal with "accidents" all through our house for no other reason that the pure pleasure of having a tiny puppy nip at our heels and bark at flies...

that was a very long sentence and I'm not even sure it qualifies as one in the first place...

but again, I'm off topic.

We have a dog.

Her name is Pippa and she is a miniature aussiedoodle...her momma is a miniature australian shepherd and her daddy is a toy poodle.  She was one of 4 girls...which makes her quite suitable for our princess household.

I'm happy to say that she likes her crate and hasn't had accidents in there.

I'm not so happy to announce that she finds no qualms about relieving herself pretty much anywhere else in our house:)

She's a big ball of fluffy, soft fur and the girls love her.

Italian Stallion came up with the name...I originally wanted Molly ...Sweetpea originally wanted Annie ...Peanut was rooting for Chelsea (because that's Daddy's favorite soccer team)...and Lil Munchkin had a slew of names that ranged from Bob to Sophia Elyssa Kate Puppy Girl

In the end, we decided that since she was of "Australian" descent, that she needed a British name...and what better name that one associated with royalty right?

Her nicknames already include Lil Pips, Pip and Pipsqueak.

She will probably grow to be around 20 lbs (or so)...

Currently she enjoys pouncing on balls, chewing on leaves, peeing on the carpet, giving kisses, and dropping down in the middle of an afternoon romp because I swear she just likes to watch me try to figure out how to get her to get back up again. 

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I have a tad bit of anxiousness surrounding a decision to add this "member of the family"...mostly because I've never owned a puppy and I really don't want to mess it up...but, then again, my own babies have turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself...so, I'm hoping that if I keep my expectations reasonable, in a few (maybe more:) months, she'll be a gem:)

School is starting and my heart is all anxious about that as well...I can't really put my finger on it, but I'm guessing it has to do with the fact that my kiddos are growing up and becoming more independent...and therefore, I lose more "control" (as if I actually HAVE control over anything in the first place)...but in my "happy place" of my mind, everything is peachy keen when they are with me 100% of the time...it's when I have to let them go and semi-fend for themselves that I get a little worrisome.

Lil Munchkin and I will be staying home this year and hitting the books parks, pools, shops, libraries, play places, dog parks, cupcake stores...etc:)

I'll try to get back into my routine of writing again...I miss it:)  plus, who would want to miss my rivoting accounts of "Pippa, the dog from the world down under"???