We live in a mean world...

I don’t mean to say that everyone is mean and life’s not fair and woe is me and I have it so bad…I’m just saying that it’s tough sometimes..life isn’t always “nice”…people aren’t always “nice”.

I’m not sure if it’s because people feel threatened, or maybe their egos are just so big already, maybe it’s pride, and it could actually be completely unintentional…but that doesn’t make the “pain” of the meanness any less real, or hurt any less.

The Momma Bear in me wants so desperately to shield and protect my children from all that “meanness”…to only surround them with little friends that have the same values and manners as we are trying to instill in our household…to break in and stop arguments or play that I can tell will leave my small one hurting…to never let them see or hear a news program that depicts “meanness”…

Tonight at our Bible Study I learned something though that I hadn’t really grasped before…(I’ll try to sum up fast instead of running y’all in circles to get to my conclusion) God can’t “turn the tables for you, if your table isn’t turned in the first place”…that was the “point”…basically saying, You’re not going to realize that God is coming in to BE for YOU if you don’t see that you NEED him there in the first place.

Today my little M said to me, “Mommy, Janie* said that Susie* is really mean to her at school and she doesn’t have a friend…I want to go to school so I can be her friend, even when no one else will be.” I have to be honest…this absolutely broke my heart. I can’t “teach” this to her, this is in her heart. But, what actually broke it, was the realization that SHE will have people that WILL be mean to HER…there will be young kids at school that WILL poke fun, exclude her, tattle on her, swear at her, try to beat her into the ground…at some point, because she is God’s, that WILL happen…we’re TOLD it will happen in his Word. UGH…this just makes me ache…

But, there was hope tonight…when her table is turned upside down…He comes in and turns it around again just for HER. We talked after that statement and I had to tell her that even people who know Jesus don’t always care to be LIKE him. And there are those that don’t know him at all and just want to make themselves happy, even if it hurts other people along the way. I had to tell her that people will be mean and they might be mean to her someday…but that we can remember what the TRUTH is even if they try to make you believe that you are silly or wear the wrong clothes or whatever…

God, you better hurry and give me lots of wisdom here…the time is a’comin’ and I gotta be ready for my girls to enter this world…I gotta prepare them to be strong and fight a good fight, not down in the pettiness of others, but stand for what is right…get me my armor Lord…me and my girls are comin’ out READY!!

Happier Notes

Okay, that last blog post was just so sad and I needed something happy to go with this beautiful sunshine today...We had a great day, went to the State House and heard "Pres. Lincoln" speak and then headed onto a tour of the House...my girls got what they got out of it and had some great fun with all the Civil War Reenactment stuff...The sun was shining, the wind was blowing, we had snacks...it was just a great day!

This followed a pretty great week as well...starting way back to Easter...here are the beautiful dresses my mother in law made for my girls:

Here are some pics of our little afternoon picnic later on that week as the weather was warming, warming, warming up...

And then, as the afternoon was coming to a close, they found a shady spot and had some 'relaxy' time...

A Dark Cloud on this Beautiful Day

http://news.aol.com/?feature=441061

The Morning After Pill is now OKed for minors...

I don't want to be a "downer" on such a beautiful day, but this is what I woke up to on my sunshine morning...The ball just keeps rolling...It's like we think God won't notice if we just slowly inch over toward the other side...Or maybe, we just don't care...My parents were worried about my interaction with peers because of language, drugs, alcohol, disrespect, etc...Now, we get to add this to the list...my 3 DAUGHTERS have THIS in their world now...they and their peers have this type of unsupervised access and no parental accountablity.

Lord, help me to parent my girls to be God-honoring, modest, respectful young ladies who have confidence to stand for what is right even when or if people around them are NOT. And Lord, heaven forbid they DO get caught up in this sin...give me grace and wisdom to pull them back on the right path!

I just had a conversation the other day with my 7 year old who didn't want to wear pants to soccer practice because "everyone else" might be wearing shorts (it was FREEZING outside)...What an incredible opportunity, at her level, to talk about confidence, decision making, knowing the TRUTH about WHO she is rather than what she wears or following the "trend"...

The entire article just throws me...this, right after the Miss America contest in which Miss California won't "support" gay marriage and gets BLASTED by every news channel and Mr. (can I even give him that title of respect?) Perez Hilton.

I'm just dumbfounded...are we that blind? Do we not see the downward spiral? Do we not see that what we have done and are continuing to do, is just making matters worse? My heart is breaking...I have to help my little girls wade through this sea of life...and the heartache that they will inevitably encounter is overwhelming...Lord, help me not only help them, but their peers and friends that will come over to "hang out" at our house after school...help our family/home be a beacon and haven for those that don't have direction!!!

New Jeans and such

I've had the same pair of GAP jeans since I turned 30 years old...I feel like that was a longgggggg time ago. I purchased one other pair shortly after that because...well, they were the first pair of NON mommy jeans that I ever owned and I actually liked them. Found a sale at Eddie Bauer and picked up another pair.

So here we are nearly 5 years later and I'm still wearing these 2 pairs of jeans...which now have big ole holes in the knees, the bottoms are scraping the floor all frayed...but, I don't have the gumption to spend the incredible amount of money on another pair...which is ridiculous because, let's face it...if expensive jeans (just 1-2 pair) last for 5 years and I wear them practically every day, WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL? I don't know...yo no se!..it's my crazy brain, that's the problem...

I finally bit the bullet and headed to GAP with those wonderful little 30% off dealies! Now, I must interrupt here because you have to understand that I don't really get out all that much...it's not like I can't, it's just that I get too caught up in stuff at home and by the time I think I could get out, it's just too late...All this to say, when I DO get out...man, watch out...I'll talk your ear off and ask anyone and everyone their opinion about just anything!!!

So, I get to GAP and start tryin' on the jeans...I go for my usual size in this Long and Lean style they have going...never tried it before, they fit fairly well, a little long, but I'm told that they shrink. I have about 3 employees "helping" me at this point...everyone has an opinion and one decides that I need to try on a size smaller..."You've GOT to be kidding me sir!" Do you not realize that I am a mother of 3 small children...my body would never squeeze into that size, even if you slicked me down with butter...I'm telling you...

But no...I think this worker must not get asked his opinion all that much because at this point he began to give me the run down on how GAP jeans are "created"...oh let me tell you...I got the whole scoop on 1-2% spandex, the softest factor of denim in comparison to the "wash"...I also got the explanation for discrepencies in sizes due to the cutting machine and the angle at which is cuts the denim fabric...blah blah blah...holy cow...all this to get me into another size...

So I humored the man and tried the other pair...low and behold i actually got into them...miracle wonder of wonders...He swears that they will stretch out the more i wear them...at this point, they were closing in about 5 minutes...I had to make a choice...he had been so nice, so I got the pair and left the store...but not without informing the cash register girl that no matter what that man said, I swear they have made the sizes roomier...aka 2 is the new 4, 4 is the new 6, 6 is the new 8, etc etc...Either way, it makes me happy to "think" I may have changed sizes...but, I know the truth, because all my other clothes of the "other"size still fit quite snuggly! regardless, fun shopping on my day out on the town!

Just a Saturday

I love Saturdays. I love waking up in the morning knowing that Anthony is going to be home all day. I love that my girls don't have any school work to accomplish. I love that we get to eat waffles with peanut butter and lots of syrup. I love that we wear our pjs until nearly noon on most Saturdays. I love that everyone feels like taking a deep breath and we just ARE for the day.

This morning was a little bit different in that my hubby and I planned a "breakfast date" and we shipped the kiddos off on the in laws while we scooted off to Panera for THE BEST BREAKFAST SANDWICH EVER! and a Starbucks of course. Twelve dollars later, I was absolutely stuffed and sipping on my ice coffee...and my husband? Well, he got a POP...that was all he ordered...he got a refill, but that's about it...I refuse to feel guilty though...it was delicious!!

I don't like decision making talks...I like deep conversations and I like to really get down to the nitty gritty on most things...but, things that don't necessarily "affect" me all that much. When conversations have to do with making a decision that is going to change something in me or in my family, I get all nervous...and then my eyes start watering all up and I get all jittery...it's ridiculous. Anthony said, "ya know, honey, at some point, you're gonna need to get a grip on this!"

I know...I will...I'm trying...I"m getting there...I'm making progress. I didn't shut down this time...we talked, we went back and forth...I felt like we made headway and that's a good thing...Still no definitive decision made, but I feel like we're heading in the right direction. Thank you Lord for such a wise husband!!!

Anyway, after a "heavy" morning...unusual to say the least...we headed over to M's soccer game. There's just nothing like sitting on the side line screaming, "YOU CAN DO IT" to a bunch of 7 year old little girls!

M said to me after the game, "Mom, I like when you encourage me like that...it makes me try harder!" Isn't that the truth? Man, you give me a word of encouragement or you give me a good ole: "WOOHOO GOOOOOO !" I will fall over backwards trying to give it my all! I think I'm a "praise seeker" at times. That's not necessarily a good thing...but I'm learning to recognize things in myself and in my kids and to see if God wants me to work on it...which then leads me right back to those "heavy decisions" again...oh well, guess hubby was right...I gotta learn how to get a grip on this...I'm guessing it's not gonna be getting any easier...

But as for today: turns out, by the end of the day...it was a just a Saturday as usual...baths were taken, pjs put back on, a little family movie action, lots of cuddles, and kisses...and everyone is in bed (except for me of course) Thanks God for Just a Saturday...healthy kids, wise husband, fun friends, and even for this computer so I can write about it for the world to see:)

Decision Making

It’s not my forte…and yet it is something that I have to do a million times a day…but, it’s small things mind you:

What to make for dinner
What clothes to put on baby
What clothes to put on me
Will I exercise this morning or in the evening
Will I eat this piece of chocolate and the 10 others that I will want afterwards
How much tv will the girls watch today
What will we be doing for school today
Can a friend come over to play
Can she have a cracker, a stick cheese and some m –n –m’s

Decision making is inevitable on a daily basis…and yet, even with all the small successes that add up throughout the day, I STILL struggle with the confidence to make it on the big ones.

We have a decision to make regarding our eldest girl in the near future. (just FYI : I don’t want to give a million details here because I know people are passionate on either side of the coin…) But, it’s about killin’ me here. I have to constantly pray it over to God…my mind gets reeling and pros and cons fill my conscience.

Perhaps it would be easier if between the 2 choices, one was actually way better than the other. The thing is though, that I believe that there is value, even at this age and stage in life, to both. There are things that each of them can offer by themselves but can’t be duplicated in the other. I think I get jealous of those that feel so strongly about what they do that they have no question…I don’t understand that because I’m such an information, get all the bases covered person, that I see the possibility that both are good choices.

I guess you could say that I just “want it all”…and I know that I can’t get it…and I don’t like “settling”…and sometimes that’s what it feels like I would be doing…

Anyway…that’s me rambling this morning after my allergy-prone, drippy nosed baby was up all night because she couldn’t breathe and my brain wouldn’t shut off…
Have a super Friday…Weekend, here we come!!!

Yes and No

I saw this on a blog (MacMama’s link on the right) and thought, “hmm, how clever and succinct and efficient…I think I’ll try that”…and WahLa…here we have it:

Yes, I’m up to late and should be getting to bed

No, I’m not that tired.

Yes, I ate too much chocolate again today and it’s probably the caffeine that is causing me to still be wide awake.

No, I did not eat it all…although I think I could have if given the opportunity.

Yes, I did get something else accomplished today besides eating candy…

No, I did NOT get all the laundry done though

Yes, we had school and listened to many chapters of Princess Academy on CD

No, I did not tell M who marries the prince in the end

Yes, I soooooooooo want to tell her, but I will wait until the end of the book…

No, she does not like surprises…

Yes, I do read the endings of books after I read the first chapter

No, I do NOT feel badly about it!!

Yes, I know that it makes me a hypocrite when I won’t tell my daughter the ending…but hey, it’s incentive to read on her own right?

No, I don’t have any pictures to post from last Easter weekend just yet

Yes, my girls were absolutely adorable in their little dresses that Nana made

No, I did not help sew them

Yes, I will post some perhaps this coming weekend

No, I’m not eating anymore chocolate right now

Yes, I am looking forward to my breakfast date with my hubby on Saturday morning

No, I will not have a Venti starbucks

Yes, I will probably have a tall starbucks to go with my BEST breakfast sandwich ever from Panera…

No, I don’t dream about Starbucks

Yes, I really need to stop and go to bed!!!