Have you ever felt so completely and utterly misunderstood?
I wish I had some spiritual-esque thing to say, some godly insight to my heart ponderings…but right now, I’m physically and emotionally spent. That’s the worst time of it too…when you’re so tired, Satan just likes to sweep in and make matters worse…and so I’m fighting (which is making me MORE tired)
For me, talking/praying my way out seems to help alleviate the ouch on the inside. And so, please feel free to just by pass this post altogether, because seriously, there are other things in life that are wayyy more important than me feeling hurt over a situation…
Like these cute babies in Africa
Like this blog-mom who is fighting for her baby’s life right now
Like spending time with your spouse or children…
And so…
I’m a simple girl, who thinks wayyyyy deep about things…
And whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but WORDS will never hurt me…” was an idiot!!! They do hurt, and so do actions, and so does insincerity, and so does fakeness, and so does patronizing, and so does comparison, and so do cheap shots to make yourself look better…
I’m not immune to doing those things in a weak moment, when I feel threatened or my Mama Bear comes out. I’m ashamed when I do so too…I’m not one for keeping up appearances (have you SEEN my wardrobe?) I would rather be, what you see is what you get…and yet, I’m not very witty. I’m simple, (yet a little complex in my head). In that simplicity though, I get stomped on…my words can be spun to mean something completely different than what was intended and I look like a fool. In that being real, I can get patronized and pitied for something that God is doing in my life…it’s absurd.
Do I see too much good in other people that I allow myself to believe that there is no way that they could be THAT mean? Because it really shocks me when it happens. Do I put certain people on a pedestal? I don’t like being played for a fool. It's like someone continually telling me that the grass is blue, but I'm TELLIN' YA...IT'S LOOKIN' MIGHTY GREEN TO ME!!!
I’m tired…I’m tired to trying to make everyone else feel good, bending over backwards, even at my own and my children’s expense to let other people feel like they are ahead of the game…
Do I have it written across my forehead, “YO, I’m just pathetic, stand next to me, point out my faults and you will look FANTASTIC!!!” or better yet “Come patronize me, it will make you look like an angel”
Needless to say, I had a bit of a rough day…I’ve been dealing with something on the inside for a long time…I feel weepy tonight…Even when I get a chance to talk it out, I can’t let myself say all the hurt out loud because I’m too scared I will hurt someone else in the process. Then I regret that I don’t say enough…although I’d regret it more if I said too much. It’s not something that gets fixed overnight…I don’t know if it’s something that necessarily gets fixed at all…but meanwhile, it hurts…
See what I mean…this post is meaningless…it’s me spouting off to the blogosphere my selfish hurts…ridiculous!!! I know! But, I’m done now…over…done…blah…
I take solace in the fact that there is SomeOne who knows my insides and how I feel regardless…and so, I’m going to take the evening to just rest…in Him…’night!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Made a Killing!
I'm not quite sure...
It was a great day! Kids had fun...adults mingled...they made about $50 to split 7 ways...more of a "socialist" approach to it...but it made it easier for the parents, and you know, we're all about the dictatorship:)
But, I think the kids were rather excited about the farm market today...
Not because of the comradery...
Not because it's just a joy to work beside your best friends...
Not because they got to serve homegrown, organic, healthy foods to their wonderful and generous neighbors...
Nope...I pretty much think it was about the money...
That's about all they were eye-in' there at the end...count it up Mr. T...let's go...
If I have said it once, I know I've said it a million times...we LOVE this neighborhood! We have the best time here! We're already plannin' a "fall farm market" again because this one was such a success!
I think I may have to ditch the "teacher" attitude though...I kept trying to teach them how to make change...but all the neighbors kept trying to tip and make them KEEP the change! Gotta love that generosity!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Not Even Half of It
Ooooooooooooooo we've been B.U.S.Y. today!!!
Pickin', cleanin', blanchin', freezin', gratin', packin', wrappin'...you name it..we've done it today!
The girls are wayyy excited about tomorrow...so today we just got to preparing for the market...
We started harvesting:
Doesn't it remind you of a scene from Little House on the Prairie, minus the dresses, the bonnets and field of wheat? Okay, well, maybe it doesn't resemble that at all, but it looks cute nonetheless!
This is what we get on an every other day basis:
Okay, minus the ONE carrot sticking out of the top of Mount Vegetable...Anyway, so you can see why we don't mind gettin' rid of some of it...especially if we can actually chalk it up to some sort of "learning experience" along the way.
If you live close to us and would like to stop by tomorrow at noon...please do! This isn't even half of what we are putting out there...we still need to pull some carrots and peppers and the other 3 neighbor "farms" have to add in their "loot" as well! 
That last picture is all the zucchini bread that I made for the market as well...we've got plain and chocolate chip...now, if I can keep them out of the girls' hands until tomorrow, we'll be doing well...
And, we're gonna have some cookies and lemonade too...cuz, you can't have a "stand" without lemonade! It just isn't done!!!
Friday, July 24, 2009
An Understatement
To say that my girls are excited would be putting it lightly! It's that time of year again...the annual farm market. Now, at this point of the year, the produce we have in the garden isn't really something we need to get rid of as was, say...THE LETTUCE!! All the rest of our food is able to be canned or frozen for the winter. However, this really is the culmination of the entire garden experience for our girls.We pick some of our green beans, a couple of zucchini that might be left on the vine, a couple handfuls of cucumbers, a few peppers, and some carrots...we strip Mommy's herb garden...or maybe they refer to it as pruning, but that's not exactly what happens...anyhoo: Then Mommy makes a bunch of little tin loaves of zucchini bread...the rest of the kids in the neighborhood that have gardens, bring their little loads down as well...And if they don't have gardens, they make cookies or lemonade to add to the event.
We set up shop at the end of the driveway...the kids make a huge sign and we price everything at about 50 cents. We've got to make it easy for making change purposes...In the end we make about 7 or 8 bucks (which doesn't even cover 1/8 of what we actually put into all this stuff, but hey, it's all about the experience right?) and we all go out for ice cream!!!
Due to schedules and vacations and everything else, we've had to quickly put togehter our little market in order to get it up and running by noon on Sunday. At least that's the plan as of this evening at 6:30pm...so we'll see. I'm looking forward to my girls becoming quite the sales people...especially when trying to push the lemonade, that they somehow constantly need to "test"...
I'll let you know how it goes after the weekend...but I already got busy with the advertising (see the little pamphlet above) Did I mention that we have the coolest neighborhood EV-AH!!!? Every year we also, always have a neighborhood get together, which happens to be this Saturday...now, how perfect is it that we can have everyone in one spot in order to pass out our little invites to our farm market for the following day?? Fun times I'm telling you!
So, that's about it...we're gonna get busy bakin' and pullin' and scrubbin' and makin' our signs! That is, right after I get done with how many loads of laundry did I say were on my bed? UGH... again, that's where my hubby and I differ...I just keep makin' the messes and worry about the clean up later!!! And boy do we have fun!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
A Number of Things
Italian Stallion awoke yesterday morning to an unusual discovery in our pantry. My loving husband who likes order, who finishes what he starts, who would rather clean up as he goes than wait until the end of the huge mess...Five, count them, 5 opened cereal boxes! All of which were about 1/2 to 3/4 eaten...
So, to give a little insight to our household that he so patiently deals with...I give you these figures with a degree of accuracy you'd expect from a SAHM who didn't get much sleep last night:)
Diapers changed in a day: 7 Edit: this is only when we don't have the pooping issue of the day and then it's a diaper pretty much every other hour or so :)
Books checked out from the library in my home: 74
Laundry baskets of clean clothes dumped on my bed: 4
Number of times I hear “mommy” throughout the day: 1,000,000,000
(keep in mind, this includes the echos in my head as well)
Gallons of milk we go through in a week: 3
Number of emails in my inbox still needing to be sorted through: 295
Age at which Italian Stallion will allow our daughters to start dating: 30
Amount of stuffed animals on the beds of my children: 15
Bottles of drinkable yogurt in the fridge: 14
Bottles of opened, half drunk drinkable yogurts in the fridge: 3
Old pots and pans in the basement that I still can't part with, but never use: 6
Amount of JUNK in my basement that is my treasure trove of things I can't let go of: about a gazillion!!!
Toothpaste tubes opened and squeezed to oblivion currently in my house: 5
Hours I would dedicate to reading if I had the time: 10
Amount of times I want to kick Jillian Michaels and tell her where she can put her 30 day shred while I do my workout each morning: 50
How many times I get asked if they have to ride in their booster seat in the car: DAILY
Pepsi cans left out of my 48 that I purchased 2 weeks ago: 15
Leftover Food containers in our fridge that we STILL haven't eaten from last week: 7
Yes, well...this is getting embarrassing, and so I will end it with these light hearted tidbits as well:
Number of hugs and kisses I received from my girlies each morning: 6 that turn into longggg cuddles on the couch
Number of girlies that go screaming to Daddy when he walks in the door and then proceed to hug his legs until he's able to pick one of them up: 3
Number of times that I thank God for my incredible husband, daughters and LIFE: infinity!!!
So, to give a little insight to our household that he so patiently deals with...I give you these figures with a degree of accuracy you'd expect from a SAHM who didn't get much sleep last night:)
Diapers changed in a day: 7 Edit: this is only when we don't have the pooping issue of the day and then it's a diaper pretty much every other hour or so :)
Books checked out from the library in my home: 74
Laundry baskets of clean clothes dumped on my bed: 4
Number of times I hear “mommy” throughout the day: 1,000,000,000
(keep in mind, this includes the echos in my head as well)
Gallons of milk we go through in a week: 3
Number of emails in my inbox still needing to be sorted through: 295
Age at which Italian Stallion will allow our daughters to start dating: 30
Amount of stuffed animals on the beds of my children: 15
Bottles of drinkable yogurt in the fridge: 14
Bottles of opened, half drunk drinkable yogurts in the fridge: 3
Old pots and pans in the basement that I still can't part with, but never use: 6
Amount of JUNK in my basement that is my treasure trove of things I can't let go of: about a gazillion!!!
Toothpaste tubes opened and squeezed to oblivion currently in my house: 5
Hours I would dedicate to reading if I had the time: 10
Amount of times I want to kick Jillian Michaels and tell her where she can put her 30 day shred while I do my workout each morning: 50
How many times I get asked if they have to ride in their booster seat in the car: DAILY
Pepsi cans left out of my 48 that I purchased 2 weeks ago: 15
Leftover Food containers in our fridge that we STILL haven't eaten from last week: 7
Yes, well...this is getting embarrassing, and so I will end it with these light hearted tidbits as well:
Number of hugs and kisses I received from my girlies each morning: 6 that turn into longggg cuddles on the couch
Number of girlies that go screaming to Daddy when he walks in the door and then proceed to hug his legs until he's able to pick one of them up: 3
Number of times that I thank God for my incredible husband, daughters and LIFE: infinity!!!
Monday, July 20, 2009
I did it again
Yep...I did it again. I'm not quite sure WHY I do it...Is it the people pleaser in me? Is it the joy of knowing that my children are happy because of a choice I made? Is it the pure insanity of a mother on way too much sleep and hyped up on wayyyy too much Pepsi? I'm sure the latter has something to do with it...
Nonetheless...I headed to the grocery store, at precisely ONE HOUR before Little Munchkin's nap time, and just to make it all the more fun...we called a friend of Sweetpea & Peanut's to join us! Yep...that makes 5 of us girls, heading to the grocery store on a hot day, 2 hours AFTER breakfast, a 1/2 hour BEFORE lunch, one hour BEFORE naptime, with ALL KINDS of coupons to work with!!!
Let's just say that no amount of bribing, singing, playing I spy or stuffing cookies into their mouths was gonna help me get through this experience. I have a syndrome for Clearance items too...this does not bode well for little ones who are hungry while Mom can't make up her mind between a 50 cent BLUE platter or the 39 cent PINK platter...heaven help their little souls!
We made it to check out...I had to buy a $25 dollar gift card with a coupon for $20...only to turn around and use it on the second transaction, because, well you know we had ALL the time in the world!!! At this point, I'm also realizing that the girls are now on the floor of the store searching for pennies so that perhaps, just maybe they could ride the penny horse...because heaven knows Mommy isn't going to squeeze out 4 cents for them...UGH! I think I just didn't have the gumption to stop them from crawling on the dirty floor,...I mean come on, they had already had a game of kick ball in the aisleways and Little Munchkin had removed all the books from the lower shelf in the magazine section. And, they had just finished up their game of "can't catch me" down the Pasta aisle...they were tired...nothin' a little rollin' on the concrete floor couldn't help!
After getting an entire outdoor patio decor platter ware set (10 pieces for under $6), a wooden picnic table for my nephews (originally $69.99...got it for $15), a bat and ball (pink...daddy will LOVE it), and a wooden putting set (so the girls can play golf with daddy outside..I'm sure Italian Stallion will see my logic) This was on top of all the groceries and other merchandise that I actually NEEDED...We FINALLY headed home...only to realize that my gas light had come on and we were on empty...
I was beginning to think that I'd never see my home again...we'd been out for nearly 2 1/2 hours...I was running out of steam...
got the gas, drove home, fed the girls, got Little Munchkin in bed, put away the groceries, planted the rest of the carrots, ate something for lunch...oh yeah, a hotdog...and then, returned once again to that thing that probably started the craziness in the first place...just poured myself a tall glass of soda and sat down for a breather! I'm sure the caffeine will kick in any minute and I"ll be at it again! Happy Monday!!!
Nonetheless...I headed to the grocery store, at precisely ONE HOUR before Little Munchkin's nap time, and just to make it all the more fun...we called a friend of Sweetpea & Peanut's to join us! Yep...that makes 5 of us girls, heading to the grocery store on a hot day, 2 hours AFTER breakfast, a 1/2 hour BEFORE lunch, one hour BEFORE naptime, with ALL KINDS of coupons to work with!!!
Let's just say that no amount of bribing, singing, playing I spy or stuffing cookies into their mouths was gonna help me get through this experience. I have a syndrome for Clearance items too...this does not bode well for little ones who are hungry while Mom can't make up her mind between a 50 cent BLUE platter or the 39 cent PINK platter...heaven help their little souls!
We made it to check out...I had to buy a $25 dollar gift card with a coupon for $20...only to turn around and use it on the second transaction, because, well you know we had ALL the time in the world!!! At this point, I'm also realizing that the girls are now on the floor of the store searching for pennies so that perhaps, just maybe they could ride the penny horse...because heaven knows Mommy isn't going to squeeze out 4 cents for them...UGH! I think I just didn't have the gumption to stop them from crawling on the dirty floor,...I mean come on, they had already had a game of kick ball in the aisleways and Little Munchkin had removed all the books from the lower shelf in the magazine section. And, they had just finished up their game of "can't catch me" down the Pasta aisle...they were tired...nothin' a little rollin' on the concrete floor couldn't help!
After getting an entire outdoor patio decor platter ware set (10 pieces for under $6), a wooden picnic table for my nephews (originally $69.99...got it for $15), a bat and ball (pink...daddy will LOVE it), and a wooden putting set (so the girls can play golf with daddy outside..I'm sure Italian Stallion will see my logic) This was on top of all the groceries and other merchandise that I actually NEEDED...We FINALLY headed home...only to realize that my gas light had come on and we were on empty...
I was beginning to think that I'd never see my home again...we'd been out for nearly 2 1/2 hours...I was running out of steam...
got the gas, drove home, fed the girls, got Little Munchkin in bed, put away the groceries, planted the rest of the carrots, ate something for lunch...oh yeah, a hotdog...and then, returned once again to that thing that probably started the craziness in the first place...just poured myself a tall glass of soda and sat down for a breather! I'm sure the caffeine will kick in any minute and I"ll be at it again! Happy Monday!!!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Changes
Has something changed?
Yes, well if you know me at all...you know that I get that little itch every so often and I need to change stuff around. When I taught with my best friend, Sara, I used to drive her nuts with changing our classroom around. I guess I kinda got bored with things the way they were and needed a new "Look"...
Same follows with my blog...thought I'd just change things up a bit. Hope it's not too overwhelming or confusing for you. I'm in the process of going public again...almost there...more "emotional" on my end than anything else...but we'll get there soon...I promise!
In other news...
Little Munchkin was sick sick sick this morning. It's pitiful when they are that young and get sick. You can't explain why their insides want to come out...it just happens and it scares them...and then we get to clean it up! She's doing much better and headed to bed early...hopefully tomorrow will be a great day for her!
We're gettin' psyched up about our 2009 Farm Market. Our tomatoes should be turning red any day now...and we'll also have cucumbers coming out our ____...so come on down and buy some "organic" produce...Although, I'm sure Sweetpea will be upping the prices this year...all the way to 50 cents!! She's quite into the whole thing!
Can summer really be half over? I've got school supplies, backpacks and fall clothing in piles upstairs ready to go...it just can't be! I guess I can't have it both ways...I like the change in some areas, but not so much in others...we'll just take it as it comes! Have a great evening!
Yes, well if you know me at all...you know that I get that little itch every so often and I need to change stuff around. When I taught with my best friend, Sara, I used to drive her nuts with changing our classroom around. I guess I kinda got bored with things the way they were and needed a new "Look"...
Same follows with my blog...thought I'd just change things up a bit. Hope it's not too overwhelming or confusing for you. I'm in the process of going public again...almost there...more "emotional" on my end than anything else...but we'll get there soon...I promise!
In other news...
Little Munchkin was sick sick sick this morning. It's pitiful when they are that young and get sick. You can't explain why their insides want to come out...it just happens and it scares them...and then we get to clean it up! She's doing much better and headed to bed early...hopefully tomorrow will be a great day for her!
We're gettin' psyched up about our 2009 Farm Market. Our tomatoes should be turning red any day now...and we'll also have cucumbers coming out our ____...so come on down and buy some "organic" produce...Although, I'm sure Sweetpea will be upping the prices this year...all the way to 50 cents!! She's quite into the whole thing!
Can summer really be half over? I've got school supplies, backpacks and fall clothing in piles upstairs ready to go...it just can't be! I guess I can't have it both ways...I like the change in some areas, but not so much in others...we'll just take it as it comes! Have a great evening!
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