things to never do #85746

It's been a long week.

It's not been all that emotionally taxing or anything...believe me, I know how to keep "most" things in perspective.

Okay, well maybe not really, but as my husband always tells me, "you bring the fun, honey...you just bring the fun!"

He's the one that keeps things running like a well-oiled machine whereas I like to mix things up a bit...and sometimes "bringing the fun" involves being overly dramatic about things like not having the proper foot attire for the ever changing Ohio weather OR throwing forty-teen baskets of laundry all over the bedroom floor and shoving the dog in there for good measure just so that the main part of your house has the "appearance" of being clean...

You better believe I "bring the fun"!!!

My eldest was in her 2nd play this week...and being the leveled headed, organized person that I am, I decided to schedule eye doctor appointments, 2 mentoring sessions and volunteering at both the elementary and middle schools, in the midst of preparing the house for my parents, sister & nephew for the weekend...See, I knew it would be a lot of "fun" to not only accomplish all that this week, but also to just skip out on dinner preparations...because what says dinner better than grilled cheese sandwiches and pretzels & nutella because Momma needs to take pictures at dress rehearsal each and every night???

It's all about the photos...all about the photos!

And thus, my house was in such disarray and I really didn't even have much time to mull over it...although I may have said a few choices words when I stepped in the dog food bowl on my way to the bathroom at 2 in the morning after Little Munchkin awoke coughing up her lung and informing me that she wasn't able to go to school in the morning...which would have been Saturday, so that really didn't make sense...so I did what any mother would do who is running on 1.5 hours of sleep...I climbed into her twin bed with her until the sound of her sinus filled snoring woke me from my 10 minute slumber and I stumbled back to my bed to finish off the last 3 hours of nighttime before TODAY began...

For the record,
Soccer games before 10am on a weekend are EVIL...there is no other way to say it...

Sure some love it because they "get it done and over with"...but I say, "let's sleep in and get it done later!"

And so we bundled up to sit and watch a bunch of 6 and 7 year olds cluster run around a soccer ball...while tweenage refs felt it necessary to view themselves as professionals and call everything under the sun...when really all the girls cared about was, "when are the snacks" and "let's see if we can SEE if we put our earmuffs over our eyes"...

We quickly came back home to fuel up on some of that "nutritional food" I had properly stored up in our pantry this week...(which actually meant that Italian Stallion ran to the store for the umpteenth time to pick up all manners of lunch meats and chips)

I, then, had the glorious opportunity to be the "backstage mom" for Sweetpea's play performance.  This meant that I got to sit behind stage and SHUSH all the 6th grade boys into submission.  This is quite the feat when these same boys are all taller than you and have the attention span of a flea.

I was in my element, though...I had a great time and was on my feet most of the hour and half long performance...mouthing words and shushing and shushing some more...

Sweetpea and I  then RACED to the soccer field...Peanut had a game that started right after the play began, so I missed her game completely...which means that she made a goal...because we all know that when Momma isn't there to get a picture, that's when the best things happen!

The school sent out emails that the play was to begin at 2:30pm...however, the program and director said 2pm..therefore, half the cast wasn't there on time and we had to split the difference and begin at 2;15...which really put us in a bind since Sweetpea's game was scheduled to begin at 3:45pm

 I dropped Sweetpea off and she ran for the field...by the time it was all over, Italian Stallion, Peanut, and Sweetpea looked as though they had swam fully clothed in the muddy Mississippi...Did I mention that it was raining?  as in, continuous outpouring from the sky with no end in sight type raining?

My parents & sister felt it a good time to head on their way home at that point, because they had been crammed in the car for more than an hour loyally watching their granddaughters slip and slide on the soccer field...AND, because nothing says "together time" like squashing together in a warm car with wet soccer players and a 9 month old with Christmas music blaring because that's the only thing that keeps him content when he's running on "it's past naptime" and cousin attention overload...

It is at this point (see how I finally got to my #85746 ?) that I did something that perhaps wasn't the wisest thing to do in my attempt to "bring the fun"...

We all packed into the car and headed back to our home where warm showers and electric blankets awaited us...

Thinking brilliantly, I decided that it would be an ideal time to work on my British accent for all to hear...because you never know when you might have a hankerin' for a tea and crumpet...But, since we weren't in the mood for such elegant delicacies, we were going to settle for the good ole stand by of chips and dip...and what kind of dip you might ask...why, the "Helluva Good Dip"...the greatest chip dip of all time...

Except when you don't live in Great Britain and your only claim to knowing about a british accent is through watching Harry Potter movies AND you are so cold and slaphappy from such a long day...your pronunciation of said dip might come out like so,
"Hellooooova Dick"

This will cause your husband to STOP.THE.CAR. due to insurmountable laughter...

It will also cause your eldest daughter to over enunciate the phonetic sound for the letter "P" in your presence for the rest of the evening...

Let us just be thankful that it is now bedtime and as my heroine, Anne (from Green Gables) always said..."tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet" (that is a whole nother story to write about at a later date)  

Limit the Squirrels in 2015

You've heard me say it before ( a longgggg time ago considering it's been ages since I've written on my personal blog) that I tend to be distracted...a lot...

One of my favorite clips that demonstrates this "distracting" behavior is from the movie UP

This happens on a practical level in just everyday life...

I head downstairs to grab a cup of coffee, turn the coffee maker on, but then see the dishes in the sink...

start to load the dishwasher and remember that I forgot to change over the laundry, so I head to the washer & drier...

walking back into the kitchen, I realize the time and run upstairs to wake up the girls...

seeing as I'm upstairs, I grab another load of laundry and head back downstairs...

start to do the laundry, but worry that I won't have time to get their breakfast AND fix their hair, so I start a batch of bran muffins instead...

go over to grab the flour and see my cold cup of coffee, from earlier...when I first started the morning...

and that's typically how it goes...

This also happens on a relational level too...

I find myself talking on the phone with my bff, but distracted by the limited amount of time I actually have to chat and get anything accomplished in a day...

not to mention that I see my Bible laying out or a verse I have printed...it's as if I give Jesus 2 seconds of my day, "hey there, good to see you this morning...I'm in a bit of a hurry...just distracted with all that needs to get done" and then I'm off to the next thing...

I try to make time for exercising...but that hasn't worked since last June
I try to make time for new recipes...but then I get going on pinterest or facebook and forget what I was looking up in the first place.
I try to carve time for reading with my girls...but TV is so much more accessible and I still haven't cleaned up from dinner...

Each year I try to pick a "word" that will help me "become" who I am created to be during that year...I know that I'll never achieve it fully on earth...and that's okay..it's actually freeing to recognize it.

However, to stay stagnant and lukewarm is unacceptable...

the first year I tried it, my word was SEE
the second year the word was CHOOSE

this year, my word is FOCUS

However, I use it in terms that I can understand...being a photographer, FOCUS is of utmost importance...if you don't have that...you don't have an image...plain and simple...you don't get the memory, the moment, the captured time...if you don't get FOCUS, you've missed the mark...

Fortunately, "FOCUS" can be used in a gazillion ways...Focus is mostly set with your use of Aperture (this is the ring inside the lens that determines how much light to let in and in tandem, how much blur will be caused)...There are multple settings for aperture too...with a lower f-stop, you focus in on ONE thing and one thing only...everything else is a blur...with a higher f-stop, everything in your view finder is in perfect sharpness & clarity...

With each image, each circumstance, each moment...I choose my Aperture accordingly...

this year, I want to FOCUS appropriately in real life moments...

There are times, where the "distractions" of life, are just that...LIFE...it's okay to have a million things on my plate to get accomplished...it's called being a wife and mom...my number one jobs & priority...yes, it's tiring, but it's worth it...my aperture is set to a high number and everything is in focus and needs to be attended to...

What I need to remember this year, is when to lower my aperture...when to set the blur to everything else and FOCUS in on what's most important...to go ahead and lose clarity on the unimportant things, so that my eyes stay crisp & clear on what is set before me.

I find it interesting that my past two years worth of words culminate to this one...If I am SEEing as Jesus would have me SEE and then I CHOOSE how to act accordingly...I will then set my FOCUS on what is most important.

I know I will fail at this over and over again this year...I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be...

However, I don't ever want to stop "becoming"...I'm continually offered this grace...an undeserving person receiving unconditional acceptance by a God who is not obligated to do so...but, DOES out of love...THAT is what I want to motivate, to spur me on...

The squirrels will always be there and sometimes, they will get the better of me...but, in 2015, I want to put my FOCUS into what really matters and not so much on all the things that end up draining me and leaving me feeling unimportant and sometimes like a failure.

It's a year to realize that I have the ability to evaluate (see & choose) and discern the moments and circumstances that arise...I can also choose to blur "good things" in order to accept "better things" OR focus in on just a little, but enjoy it to the fullest...

Happy New Year :) I wish you a year in FOCUS :)

Happy Birthday Love

To My Italian Stallion (whom I know just LOVES this little blog name I've created for him)

God must have had me in mind when you were born :)  

Yes, I realize that that sounds extremely self-centered and I think you know me well enough that it takes me a couple of times around the barn to get to my point...and you know that's not what I am aiming at...

You constantly tell me about all my "so-called" wonderful qualities and contributions to our family...you know my love of words and desire to feel safe, cherished & valued...

however, I want to take this day...this anniversary of the day of your birth to focus on all that YOU are and the reason I am even able to be who I was created to be...

You are someone who, from the very beginning, tends to put my needs before your own...it humbles me...the way, that even when we are arguing, you have a calming way to look at the situation from my point of view (even when I don't reciprocate) and yet, you stand firm in the way you lead me and our family...you know how to let me know that we may not be going with MY plan, but that doesn't mean you don't value it...

The way that weekends are fun because you are with our girls...and it's genuine...you are never trying to "get away", but rather creating ways to be together...even in the mundane...

The way you r patient beyond measure...I swear God put a lot of extra ounces of patience into your body the day you were born...I am not fearful that you will run out, because you remind me where your heart lies and on Whom you depend, from Whom you get that strength.

 The way you relax us all and remind us what life is truly all about...so that we don't get so caught up in the drama and self-centered thinking...

You are definitely the introvert to my extrovert...and though you aren't necessarily energized by people, you always make time for them...I admire the way that others listen when you speak, because they know you are a man of integrity and compassion.

I can't imagine life without you...you make me want to strive hard and show love more, to give grace and be generous...because you choose those attitudes and actions.  I know you would downplay all this and I know you aren't perfect :)  It would be way too hard if you were...

I'm just in awe that you chose me...We have now officially gotten to the point where we've known each other longer than we haven't...my life is filled with moments that have you in them :)

Happy Birthday my love, my best friend...I love you :)

Spiritual Ponderings:)

((I found this OLDDDD draft to a "response" I wrote about a sermon I heard at church last year around this time...I guess I never published it...so I'm sticking it on here now so that I know where it is))

John 3:36
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.

This verse was the premise of the message that our pastor brought yesterday at church...He wanted to talk about God's Holiness...and more specifically, the WRATH of God...

It made me chuckle at first because a few things went through my mind...

#1- anytime people talk about God's wrath, I think of the old time preachers with all their hell, fire and brimstone talk.
#2-most people don't want to listen about this subject...especially the media, or "good people"...because, "most" people want to just focus on God's mercy, God's love, God's forgiveness
#3- all those "righteous" people (or those that believe they already have ALL the answers right) are gonna LOVE this talk...I could just see them smilin' in their seats, they were thinking, "stick it to 'em Pastor!"

I think what Pastor Terry did to make this lesson able to fall on teachable hearts, was first, he has spent the past month talking about the, for the lack of a better word, "HAPPY" side of God... His mercy, love, trustworthiness, forgiveness...etc...all the "feel good" things about God...

What I know that I often forget, is that God is JUST and HOLY too...

I often just don't really want to think about that aspect..

I'd rather just think that he just gets "sad" when I sin...that He's just bein' my sweet cheerleader up in heaven, hoping I'll figure it out, say I'm sorry and then give me a big ole hug and say, "atta girl, now, you just keep bein' a fairly "good" girl and we'll have a great mansion for y'all in heaven!...you just keep goin' there kiddo and we'll make something I can be proud of out of the mess you've made...cuz it's all about you bein' happy!!!"

It's either that, or I go to the other extreme, where I think He's up there extremely disappointed and angry and ready to spit fire for all the wrong doing in the world...that He's just waiting for me or others to screw up so He can "stick it to 'em"

And when I think of MY wrath...that's probably where it comes from...I am angry, I do get spitfire mad at the families and children that are ruined because of divorce, at the babies that will never take their first breath because it's an inconvenience for the mom to be pregnant, at the laziness and lack of work ethic in people that already have so much more than what our forefathers came here with, at the foolishness of the way people seem to be able to "justify" every action and get upset when others don't agree and call them intolerant...the list goes on...

Pastor Terry mentioned 2 False Narratives...1) God looks to punish sinners  2) God doesn't care about our sin

Both are wrong perspectives on God.  Because really, when it comes to all this...His ability to forgive is beyond our comprehension...just like His mercy is unfailing...HOWEVER, if there is no judgment in our kingdom then there is no really need for Jesus...

You can't just cover our wrongdoing up with "mercy" and "love" and IGNORE the sin...that's where His Holiness comes in...

I liked Terry's description of God's wrath being like the example in Romans 1...there He just "gives them over" to their own choices...When a person decides in their heart that they would rather have their own "Kindgom" than to serve Someone else's agenda...(because God doesn't demand my love in return), He steps away and honors that choice. 

How many times in a day do I do this?  I choose what makes me happy rather than what is right...it "feels" much better to get frustrated with my spouse when he doesn't do exactly what I want him to do...it makes me feel better to yell at my girls when I've asked them a million times to clean their rooms...I like the attention much better when I "relay" a sad story about someone else (read gossip)...it also makes me feel all important when I start spoutin' off like I have all the answers in my "righteous anger" about the sin of OTHERS...

the list goes on...cuz I'm not perfect over here:) 

The point is...and I'm beginning to realize,  that God LETS me have my way when I choose it...fire bombs from heaven don't come down and stop me...my computer doesn't explode when I write out my bitter thoughts...He doesn't cause a car accident when I blurt out a profanity...however, I can't always attribute an available parking spot or a few pounds gone on the scale as God saying, "well done thou faithful servant, you are blameless and therefore, here is a holy parking space for you!"

He does offer His mercy and grace because of His Son first and foremost...and the ONLY way I can CLAIM His mercy and love FROM the Wrath (or consequences of my choices) is when I TURN FROM IT...I can't just say I'm sorry or say, "I've tried, but, this is just the best I can do...you understand, right God?  It's all good...I don't want to try any longer...so let's just start from this point onward with my "new" decisions and you just make something You can be proud of"...it requires a 180 turn from what I'm doing in order to claim that forgiveness...It's foolish to think that someone really believes you are sorry for smacking them in the face, when you keep smacking them...it's like saying, "I'm truly sorry for stealing your shoes, but I'm going to keep them and you just bless me for that, okay?"

And the fact that we are living in the world He created and are surrounded by others that are a part of God's Kingdom, means that we get to experience those blessings here on earth anyway...He DOES bless us in so many ways..

I really gained a new perspective from his message this weekend...it's a lot to think about...what is my role as it pertains to the world and the sin in it...as it pertains to the choices I make...?? 

at any rate, it was nice to be able to write it all out:)

It's a Book List

Have you all discovered Good Reads yet?

If not, let me help correct this oversight on your part because...hello, constant book recommendations that actually fit your personal likes and dislikes with regards to genre...umm, yes please?

I know...book nerd...

if you love me, you will bear with it...

Anyway, so you remember my dilemma with the whole "math thing" from another post?

Crazy thing, they don't JUST learn math in school...

nope, they get all floozy on you and have to go and teach social studies and science and apparently how to run around a gym and stretch (because we all know that's about the only thing goin' for you when you're approaching 40, have birthed 3 children and are up late at night trying to determine how much material Mrs. Winn will need for m shirts and (m+2) dresses)...

Anyway, alongside all this education...they've got to read...and this my friends, is where I am able to swoop in and save the day...this is my specialty...Far be it from me to be slacking on the job when it comes to reading...oh no...I will sacrifice, I will put down that toilet bowl brush and those laundry baskets of clothing...I will put myself on the line as I kick the vacuum to the curb...all in the name of READING!  I will forfeit my rights as homemaker for the betterment of my children by forcing myself to sit on the couch and read through books, whilst sipping coffee for nourishment as the hours pass by.

I know...it's tough...but, that's my mom job!  I WILL take up that torch!

My children are 6th, 4th and kindergarten grade levels...Some might say that I can be a bit over-protective when it comes to what my kids are exposed to...and though I could get all sarcastic and tell you what I really think about others who think they know better about what is best for my own children, suffice it to say, I just try to be kind and understand that my girls are MY girls and we'll just leave it at that.

My girls tend to be picky when it comes to reading...they are not book mongers like their mother, much to my chagrin, but so be it...they also are a lot more merciful and patient like their father and I wouldn't trade that for the world...so I take them as they are :)

With their "picky" standards, I can often come home from my bi-weekly trips to the library with 20-40 different books from which they choose MAYBE one to read.  This can be exhausting and a tad frustrating because if they knew the amount of energy that went into me perusing the shelves after scouring the reviews and reserving books weeks in advance, they'd perhaps have a different approach to their choice of reading material (or maybe not, because let's face it, they are 12, 9 and 6)

That said, with 3 girls, all at different reading levels and all liking different genres, my goal is to expose them to good literature...I know, I know, it's often said, that as long as they are reading, blah blah...and I get that to a point, but I'm going to tell you that I believe there IS a difference between reading a recipe book or a magazine as opposed to a novel by J.R.R. Tolkien or Jane Austen...I want to expose my girls to better literature so that they will have the lifelong desire for the written word.

And so, I spend considerable amounts of late night hours reading a plethora of genres, authors, and reading levels...I'm trying to find books that are not only age appropriate, but at the same time will provide them with a rich development of character and storyline.

Over the years, we've read countless books...classics, historical fiction, realistic fiction, fantasy, mystery...Infact, I've actually listed a few of the books HERE in a past blog post. These are books more for my younger elementary girls.

I was bemoaning to Italian Stallion the fact that kids just aren't into books like Anne of Green Gables anymore ( my all time favorite series..IN. THE. WORLD.).  He was clearly disinterested in my summation and perplexed as to why I couldn't just make the girls read it and then they'd love it like I did...to which I explained that the Anne series to them, was like forcing me to read Jane Austen as a 6th grader...the literature is great, but the content gap (at this season of life and generation) is widespread.  Just read the very first SENTENCE in Anne of Green Gables and you will understand...(go ahead, I dare you)

Therefore, I spend my time trying to discover more recent books that will maintain that same level of richness, but keep their attention as well...

Here's what I've been reading lately...
side note: some of these are absolutely not age appropriate for even my 6th grader at this time (in my opinion) but I'm reading them so that I have my arsenal ready for when the time comes)

Divergent Series: This series, is that whole Dystopian genre phenomenon...to be flat out honest, it was disturbing...even more so than Hunger Games (and I thoroughly enjoyed the literature of Susanne Collin's stories, although lots of disclaimers there as well, as seen in THIS post awhile back) And spoiler alert: I hated the way they ended it in Allegient...seriously, let's go from depressing to DEPRESSING!

Goose Girl Series: I love me some Shannon Hale books...If you've heard me rave about Princess Academy, then you'll know that I love this gal's writing.  Whereas Princess Academy didn't really fit into any genre (it never gave a time period, although I suppose historical might be the closest to compare) Goose Girl definitely fit into more of the medieval realm.  And, being the mom of girls, I loved the heroines!

Percy Jackson series: I loved the Harry Potter series...excellent writing, overwhelming imagination and good overturns evil...(however, I have made my girls wait long periods between books because of the "dark" in them and my understanding of their individual emotional maturity...currently, my 4th grader is allowed to finish book 4 and will wait to continue...this is probably worthy of an entirely different blog post but I'll save you and stop here) Percy Jackson is Harry Potter in Greek Mythology.  Percy = Harry, and he has a friend that's a girl (aka Hermioine) that's super smart and a guy buddy that's a little dense but loyal (aka Ron) and they all go to Half Blood camp (aka Hogwarts)...It's a fun story line filled with adventure and decision making.  I got more hung up on all their "god talk"...and after the 3rd book, I had to put it down because I was tired of them "praying to the gods", "sacrificing to the gods",  and all the gods coming down to have sex with all the humans to create "demigods" so much so, that it filled the Half Blood camp...etc etc...it's probably not one I'd recommend for my girls, unless they go wildfire crazy about Harry Potter ...(I have a thing about NOT desensitizing them and I think it's a fine line between informing/living IN this world and just accepting things as they are, especially as it concerns their relationship with Jesus) anyhoo, that's my two cents.

The Book Thief: I'm one of those ridiculous people that upon discovering that a movie is based upon a book, I won't go see the movie until I've actually read the book...therefore, I've had this book on the waiting list for awhile now.  I know it's about Nazi Germany and therefore I know it's going to be sad and depressing too.  But, I love historical fiction, even if it brings feelings of sadness and outrage.  I'm halfway through this right now.

My line up currently in the book basket is Eragon, a plethora of Inspirational fiction reads just for me, a retelling of The Scarlet Letter, and I'm waiting on another teen fantasy series to come in on reserve at the library, again just to see what's out there for my girls.  This along side the fun series of Kylie Jean for Little Munchkin and finishing up the Gregor series  with Peanut.  Peanut is also currently reading Poetry Novel entitled Inside Out and Back Again  of which I'm anxious to get my hands on and finish before her just so I have an idea of what's going on before she writes up her response/reaction to that new genre.

Sweetpea is working on the UnWanteds Series by Lisa McMann...and those of you that know my Calculus teacher from good ole FRHS...yep, that's his daughter in law...she's a well known author in the youth fiction department.  I was giddy to find this series.  I remember Mr. McMann's son Matt (Lisa' husband) and so I scooped up this series as soon as I learned of it.  It's basically Harry Potter meets Hunger Games...a much more tame than Hunger Games, but all the excitement and wizardry of J.K. Rowling.

Well..that's my blabbing for today...my blogging is sporadic at best..hope you'll bear with me...

Let's Talk About It...

I use this terminology with my Italian Stallion...a lot...

If you didn't remember, (because goodness sakes it's been forever since I've blogged in a consistent manner) I tend to be a words person...

this means that the way to my heart is through words...and LOTS OF THEM...let me be clear here, not just ANY words...oh no...I like all those wonderful, drippy words of affirmation, adoration and love...I'm a validation monger...

I've kept every printed email, letter, card, post it note, you name it, that my hubby has ever left for me in unsuspecting places and/or in my PO box in college...and I won't lie, I keep them in a couple of boxes in my closet where I may or may not, occasionally lock myself in and reminisce over his words of love written to me over the years...
(if I happen to have a bag of chips and a bowl of chocolate chips in there with me, it's purely coincidental)

And when people say you marry your opposite, they aren't kidding...

I married my opposite...where I like to talk...let me rephrase (because I'm really good at coming up with more words than necessary to get my point across) I enjoy the sound of my own voice...sometimes I will have conversations with myself in the mirror just so I can "hear" another side to the same story.  (true vulnerability here...TRUE)

My husband on the other hand, is not a talker.  It's not that he isn't social...oh no...he can whoop it up with the best of them...but, he isn't' necessarily energized by speaking with large crowds of people listening in.  The thing is, when he does talk, people DO listen....as opposed to when I start talking and talking and talking and talking...people often have a tendency to tune me out...

are you still there?

Facebook is a classic example of this...he can go weeks without updating his status, but the minute he does, he is witty and classic and everyone...and I mean E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. goes on over and gives him a little "like" or a comment...

Me on the other hand, I can write a plethora of updates, blog posts, shares and what have you...and I'll stalk my iphone for push notifications that someone has landed on my post...and perhaps I'll get a few...I mean really, how hard is it to just comment, "you are amazing!!!" because don't people realize that my day begins and ends with my notoriety on Facebook for heavens sake! (not really, but it sounds like a good rant...okay maybe a little)

I digress

...back to "let's talk about it"...It's my thing with I.S....I'll set it up for you...

Me: So, do you remember when you first saw me? (batting my eyes and looking all sappy)
Italian Stallion: Yes
Me: do you remember what you were thinking and what you thought about after you saw me?
I. S. : Umm, I don't know
Me: Okay, well LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...let's talk about all the things you like about me..

I'm not high maintenance AT ALL...AT ALL people...

We have recently deemed Fridays as our LUNCH DATE DAY!  We have discovered that a "night out" date takes wayyy too much time and effort and not to mention more money trying to figure where the kids are going to go and then I have to make a meal anyway even though he & I aren't going to eat it and blah blah blah...

And I welcome in the Season Of:  All The Kids Are In School now...it's a glorious time, let me tell you...

It's not that I don't enjoy my children...I even homeschooled for awhile and loved it!  However, if you've got to make lemonade out of lemons...man, we got a gooooood batch goin' on now!  So Friday mornings after I take my girls into school and stay volunteering for an hour or so, I hop in the car and pick up Italian Stallion at the office, and we head out for a lunch date...

This usually consists of me talking and him listening (go figure...) but, it's our way of connecting (okay, maybe it leans more heavily on my way of connecting...let's not get started on his way of connecting because that's a whole other blog post entitled, "Innuendos are the Spice of Life")

The point that I'm getting to here is that, as with any relationship, it takes time to invest into it...time to figure out what energizes the other person and being selfless enough to honor it...he does this for me...and I know it can't be easy for him because HIGH MAINTENANCE!

But, we're both committed...we've been through many "I'm sorrys" and "I'm wrong" and "I forgive you" (and I can guarantee that we have many more to come) and we have no idea what's on the path ahead...but we're committed to walking hand in hand along it...even though we might even incur some dragging or just sitting down and waiting...I am still in awe that I have this guy beside me that always fights for me, I am humbled by his own humility and his willingness to put me before himself...

And so when I, for the umpteenth time, squeeze his hand and say, "Let's talk about it"...he's right there...knowing exactly what I need...and it's just plain amazing!

X + Y = ????

It still baffles me that I minored in Math in college.

This is perplexing on so many levels, not the least of which being that I still need to count on my fingers to determine 8+5 and other basic addition facts.

My past math teachers are cringing.

I struggled in math...just ask my dad...

He's the one that would watch in bewilderment as I would sob uncontrollably lamenting over the fact that I didn't care how fast the stupid train was going and who the heck cared the age differences between Bob, Sue and Coco when Bob was x years older than Sue and Coco had could run a 6 minute mile?

many, many, many nights of crying...tear stained homework papers...scribbled messes and eraser marks until you could barely see my "shown work" on the non-recycled white notebook paper.

I drove my classmates crazy...

I drove my teachers crazy...

I was on a mission to force my brain to soak up whatever it was that everyone else appeared to understand so that I could get that A on the test.

For me it was the challenge...it was the proving that I COULD get that coveted 4.0 and prove to my parents and any people that ever bullied me in the past the world that I could conquer anything.

Looking back, yes, I may have learned some valuable lessons about never giving up, and learning to think critically and not to mention becoming enlightened as to the value of a high-end quality eraser.

If I am honest with myself however, I do realize that though my grades reflect that I have an exemplary understanding of math concepts, this is a complete and utter falsehood.

I know this to be true because I attempted to check my 6th grade daughter's math homework last night and was reminded again that not only do I not care how many chairs Mr. Lee can paint in 3 hours using 7 liters of paint, but that I often can't even determine what in the world the problem is asking? (i.e. what is X?)

Far be it from me to leave my daughter stranded...Momma Bear to the rescue...

Fortunately Momma Bear has a math minded dad, a ridiculously smart brother, a math teacher sister in law and GOOGLE!  And so, into the wee hours of the morning (or maybe it was only 9:30 at night, but, I was concentrating, so let us imagine that I was burning the midnight oil because it makes this post actually slightly interesting, or at least it does in my mind, okay?) I worked on the last problem of her homework trying to remember equations for rate and getting distracted that Mr. Lee was actually painting so many chairs, and what color paint was he using?

I was so thankful...and I MEAN THANKFUL that my daughter didn't seem as distraught as me over this lack of understanding...it's not that I don't want her to WANT to learn...she just doesn't need to obtain ulcers and cry buckets over people who choose to paint chairs for a living.

I do see some resemblances though between Sweetpea and myself at that age.  I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I do have a small degree of anxiousness surrounding her desire for perfection, but I was encouraged last night that it was only I that began yelling at Mr. Lee, "For the love of all things holy, just get a new profession and buy recliners so we don't have to answer this stupid question!"